King of the Hill (TV Series)

Dog Dale Afternoon (1999)

Johnny Hardwick: Dale Gribble

Quotes 

• Dale Gribble : [after Hank's been shot]  Oh God Hank you're dying, I'll never forget you, I will bury you in my backyard, I'll dedicate my life to propane, and don't you worry about Peggy - I'll keep Bill away from her.

  Hank Hill : [recovers]  I'm fine, Dale, but if you're serious about the propane, I've got some pamphlets...

  Dale Gribble : You're fine!

  [unbuttons Hank's shirt] 

  Dale Gribble : You were wearing a bulletproof vest, you thought I was gonna shoot you.

  Hank Hill : Well, that or spray me with poisonous chemicals. I thought you'd kill yourself right after.

  Dale Gribble : I would have, too.

• Dale Gribble : [Spying him crawling through Nancy's bedroom window]  I know what you're here for.

  John Redcorn : Dale, this isn't how I wanted you to find out!

  Dale Gribble : Quit screwing around with my mower!

  John Redcorn : You've got to be kidding

  Dale Gribble : I don't kid about my mower, now get inside and start massaging my wife!

  John Redcorn : [to Nancy]  He's taking some of the fun out of this

• Dale Gribble : If you're going to shoot me, I want Bobby Hill to take the shot, because he'll put me down clean.

  Bobby Hill : Okay!

  [tries to take a gun from a police officer] 

• Dale Gribble : [to Hank]  You know, you used to be on my list of trustables, and it was a very short list, I wasn't even on it, but now, I just don't know. I guess you're not my friend.

  Hank Hill : Dale, if I could do it again, I'd... hey, what the heck is that? I am too your friend, I'm as good a friend as a weirdo like you is ever going to have.

• Dale Gribble : One shot on the way down eliminates the Gribble problem, then the Cuban robot soldiers have only Steve Wynn standing between them and Wichita.

  Hank Hill : Dale, there are no robots and there are no Cubans!

  Dale Gribble : If there are no Cubans, how do you account for Desi Arnaz?

• Boomhauer : Hey, yo, Dale, what you doin' up there, man... talkin' 'bout goin' crazy, man... come on down, man...

  Dale Gribble : Boomhauer, if I ever heard anyone reading a script, that was it.

• Hank Hill : [to Dale]  You're not touching my mower ever again, you left it out in the street where any weirdo could just brush up against it!

  Dale Gribble : Hank, what would weirdos be doing near the gas station?

  [suspicious] 

  Dale Gribble : What would weirdos be doing near the gas station...?

• Dale Gribble : Gentlemen,say hello to the Allegro X9J, code name "Redeemer" at the Mason mower skunkworks in Sidemount Hood. 73 decibels of twin-barrel four-stroke war cry, all at a price I can't really afford.

• Dale Gribble : That is a water-tight seal. I can mow my lawn in a hurricane. Can you mow your lawn in a hurricane, Bill?

  Bill Dauterive : I don't know

  Dale Gribble : You can't mow your lawn in a hurricane!, Can you, Boomhauer?

  Boomhauer : I tell you what, man, if I got that pause-trackin' goin' on, a little choke-hold, I...

  Dale Gribble : [interrupts him]  Bullcorn!

  [as the garage door closes] 

  Dale Gribble : Oh, almost forgot: Hank can you mow your lawn in a hurricane nope didn't think so ha ha ha ha!

• Hank : Dale, there are no robots and there are no Cubans.

  Dale Gribble : If there are no Cubans, how do you account for Desi Arnaz?

• Dale Gribble : I'd like to live in your fairy-tale world, Hank, but the Fair Play For Cuba Committee is retro-fitting my mower to power Fidel's one-man escape sub.

• Hank : Dale, get down here before someone gets hurt.

  Dale Gribble : Too late. I killed Shackleford!

  [the police gasp] 

  Dale Gribble : No, no, correction - Shackleford wants a pizza.

• Dale Gribble : [Negotiating with the SWAT team which points shotguns at him]  And I want my mower back with enough gas to get to Canada

• Bill Dauterive : Don't even ask if you can borrow my mower.

  Dale Gribble : Like I would borrow that piece of junk. Boomhauer, can I borrow your mower?

  Boomhauer : I tell ya what, man, I gone and loaned you my Monopoly set, man, you come back and no more dang ol' top hat gone, and B - Bard - Boardwalk got little mustard stains on it, Park Place too, man. Dang ol' mom comin' over and wanna, and end up playin' Stratego, man.

  Dale Gribble : Bill, can I borrow your mower?

  Bill Dauterive : Okay.

  Dale Gribble : Like I would borrow that piece of junk.

• Dale Gribble : [after the police fire teargas at Dale]  Is that all you got? I use stronger than this to kill squirrels.