- Joseph Gribble: How long are you going to be in Arizona, Mr Redcorn?
- John Redcorn: [an American Indian] Just for Thanksgiving weekend.
- Dale Gribble: Do your people even celebrate Thanksgiving?
- John Redcorn: We did. Once.
- Ticket Agent: Okay, people, personal insults and criticisms directed towards me will not get your plane out any faster. In just a few minutes we will begin...
- Man: You're an ass!
- [the Hills are stuck at the airport and Bobby is holding a bowl of salad]
- Bobby Hill: I can't eat this. It's salad!
- Peggy Hill: Hank, the boy needs protein or he'll pass out. Now, break open that box. Thanksgiving will go on with a one-legged turkey.
- Hank Hill: "One-legged turkey"? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response. Other than "Shame on you."
- Luanne Platter: Uncle Hank, a man just asked me if I wanted to join "the Mile-High Club". Could you get me an application?
- Hank Hill: Well, I think they would have them on the plane, Luanne.
- [first lines]
- Bill Dauterive: Oh, another Thanksgiving with Hank Hill's famous smoked turkey! What can I bring this year, Hank? Straws?
- Hank Hill: Oh, well, Bill, we're -- and by "we" I mean me, my family and this turkey-- we're all going to Montana for Thanksgiving.
- Bill Dauterive: Oh.
- Hank Hill: Yeah. See, Peggy and her mom don't always get along and now Mother Platter's starting to take it out on propane. She says it can't get the job done when it comes to smoking turkey. Well, I'm not going to let that go. So for Peggy's sake, I got to prove her mom wrong. Now, this doesn't leave the alley, but...
- [lowers voice]
- Hank Hill: Peggy's parents wanted to take us to a restaurant for Thanksgiving.
- [Bill, Dale and Boomhauer spit out their beers]
- Hank Hill: But don't worry. I convinced them to have the meal at their house and I'm going to go with my standard plan: Cowboys game, dinner at 5:00 and serve dessert in time for "Home Alone".
- Dale Gribble: [chuckles] They broke into the wrong kid's house.
- [Hank is forced to load his portable tank of propane into an airport locker]
- Hank Hill: They let that woman bring an oxygen tank on the plane!
- [Luanne has been upgraded to first class on the plane, but she can still see into the coach section]
- Luanne Platter: Um... That curtain over there -- what's it for?
- Stewardess: It separates first-class from coach.
- Luanne Platter: [confidentially] I'd liked that closed.