- Hank: What's this? It's a letter. "From the Desk of Buckley's Angel". Let's see here... "Dear Bill, Boomhauer and Dale, I have been unable to find a woman for Bill. Any woman. Or a crank shaft from a 1968 Dodge. And the porthole to Hell is actually located in Hank's garage near all of his tools and should be avoided by anyone afraid of the porthole to Hell." Well, that's that. Goodbye, Buckley's Angel.
- Dale Gribble: Goodbye, Buckley's Ang... Hold the phone. Let me see that letter.
- Bill Dauterive: [Gasps] That's not Buckley's handwriting. Hank!
- [Hank turns the hose on them]
- Luanne Platter: Maybe I should drop out of beauty school.
- Peggy Hill: What? Luanne, you have wanted to go to beauty school since you were six! You have wanted to graduate beauty school since you were twelve! If you give up on school, honey, you are giving up on your dreams. "Education is the sleeping pill that makes dreams happen." - Peggy Hill.
- Buckley: Before I go, could I have one last kiss?
- Luanne Platter: Mmm-hmm.
- [She nods and kisses him; he gets too grabby and she gently pushes him off]
- Luanne Platter: No, that part's over.
- Buckley: Why?
- Luanne Platter: Chicken thigh.
- Minh Souphanousinphone: Not too much happens in this town. When someone comes back from dead, it gets around.