Knight Rider (TV Series)

Dead of Knight (1984)

William Daniels: K.I.T.T.

Quotes 

• K.I.T.T. : Michael, do you know what I think you could use right now?

  Michael Knight : The antidote.

  K.I.T.T. : Aside from that.

  Michael Knight : Don't tell me. A little stress relief.

  K.I.T.T. : Very well, since you insist.

  [K.I.T.T. produces the sound of a drum roll, Michael groans loudly] 

  K.I.T.T. : When I was a kid...

  Michael Knight : You were never a kid!

  K.I.T.T. : Not now, Michael, I'm on a roll. Now when I was a kid, we were so poor... Michael?

  Michael Knight : Al right... how poor were you?

  K.I.T.T. : We couldn't afford cheese to bait the mouse trap.

  Michael Knight : Another mouse joke?

  K.I.T.T. : Please, no heckling. Anyway, we had to cut out a picture of cheese for bait.

  Michael Knight : So, what happened?

  K.I.T.T. : We caught a picture of a mouse.

  [another drum roll and another big groan] 

  K.I.T.T. : Michael, what is it, are you in pain?

  Michael Knight : No, it's your jokes, they're killing me!

• K.I.T.T. : Michael! What on Earth is this?

  [a pumped up bodybuilder walks by] 

  Michael Knight : [laughs]  looks like the boardwalk Arnold Schwarzenegger.

  K.I.T.T. : And what exactly is an Arnold Schwarzenegger?

• K.I.T.T. : The other night I was parked in a garage that was so small, the mice were hunchbacked.

  Michael Knight : K.I.T.T., that is terrible.

  K.I.T.T. : Michael is my act dying?

  Michael Knight : No, but it's nog going to Vegas, either.

• Arnold : You think you're pretty smart, don't ya?

  K.I.T.T. : I am a Knight Industries 2000 with a 1000 megabits of memory and a one nanosecond access time.

  Arnold : Hey, I bet you wear contact lenses too! And eat quiche!

• K.I.T.T. : But seriously, I stopped for gas the other day and the service was so slow, by the time they filled me up, my upholstery was out of style.

• K.I.T.T. : I'm surprised you're still with us, Michael. You're living on sheer will power.

• K.I.T.T. : [Michael is succumbing to geranium poisoning]  Michael!

  Michael Knight : Huh?

  K.I.T.T. : A friend of mine flew to Las Vegas yesterday and boy are his arms tired. I know a man who made so much money in Las Vegas, they're still looking for his body.

• K.I.T.T. : Speaking of jokes...

  Michael Knight : We weren't speaking of jokes.

  K.I.T.T. : Did I ever tell you about my cousin who thought he was an orange?

  Michael Knight : No, but I got a feeling you're going to.

  K.I.T.T. : Well, we would have put him a way, except we needed the juice.