L.A. Law (TV Series)

Beauty and Obese (1988)

Corbin Bernsen: Arnie Becker

Quotes 

• Jonathan Rollins : [on TV]  No, no Gina. That just they way they are.

  Gina Westland : It's sounds like they're incompetent.

  Jonathan Rollins : No, not incompetent, just amusing. We have one partner I won't mention names but... it's Brackman! He keeps having extramarital affairs. He even slept with his female bailiff when he was a small claims court judge.

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : [watching on the TV]  Oh, God! OH, GOD!

  Jonathan Rollins : [on the TV]  And our divorce lawyer Arnold Becker beds down with around 90% of his female clients.

  Arnie Becker : [watching the TV]  Son of a bitch!

  Douglas Brackman, Jr. : He's fired!

  Jonathan Rollins : [on TV]  And we have two partners, Ann Kelsey and Stuart Markowitz, that sleep with each other.

  Gina Westland : Come on!

  Jonathan Rollins : They are married, but I heard it was a shotgun wedding.

  Ann Kelsey : That bastard!

  Stuart Markowitz : I'll kill him!

  Jonathan Rollins : [on TV]  But you know what really gets me? It's that none of them... NONE of them can tell the difference between a live broadcast... and a videotaped gag. Gotcha!

  Arnie Becker : What the...?

  Jonathan Rollins : [on the TV to the lawyers]  I know I got you!

• [Knocking on the door] 

  Arnie Becker : Come in.

  [Opening the door is Roxanne] 

  Roxanne Melman : Arnie. There's a mistake in my paycheck. It's a $100 more than it's supposed to be.

  Arnie Becker : The firm voted you a raise.

  Roxanne Melman : A raise? A week ago, they were going to fire me. It's out of your pocket, isn't it?

  Arnie Becker : What's the difference where it comes from?

  Roxanne Melman : Thank you, Arnie... . for this... .for sticking by me, for not clubbing me on the head with I told you so's about Jimmy.

  Arnie Becker : Rox, you're not the first person to fall in love and make a mistake.

  Roxanne Melman : I guess I'd feel better about myself if it was just love. But it wasn't. I was seduced by the money. All around me every day, I see people with great clothes, great cars, great houses. It gets to me sometimes.

  Arnie Becker : There's nothing wrong with wanting the same thing as everyone else, Rox.

  Roxanne Melman : Oh, I know. I know I can want them. The difference is, I was stealing them. Anyway, I just wanted you to know, I'm pretty glad you're in my corner.

  [Roxanne kisses Arnie's head] 

  Arnie Becker : Watch... the hair.

• Gina Westland : [On TV]  With us this morning are Brad Sanford, Rosalie Baskin, and Jonathan Rollins, recently cited in Southland Magazine as the hottest young lawyers in Los Angeles. Good morning and welcome.

  Brad Sanford : Good morning.

  Jonathan Rollins : Good morning.

  Rosalie Baskin : Hi.

  Abby Perkins : [Watching TV]  You're looking good, Jonathan.

  Arnie Becker : Great suit.

  Roxanne Melman : He looks great.