L.A. Law (TV Series)

December Bribe (1987)

Michael Fairman: Judge Douglas McGrath

Quotes 

• Abby Perkins : Your Honor, I represent the defendant Delores Kirby in this matter who is charged with one count PC, Section 653M.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : I have the papers, Counselor. Let's proceed.

  Abby Perkins : Yes, sir. Um, the defense will show that the defendant is the grandmother of the complainant's son. We will further show that she made the phone calls in question out of her love for her grandson.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Counsel, approach.

  [Abby Perkins and D.A. George Handleman approached the sidebar of Judge Douglas McGrath for the first time] 

  Judge Douglas McGrath : What are we doing here?

  D.A. George Handleman : I tried to plea it out, Judge. I even offered to continue it without a finding.

  Abby Perkins : My client is innocent, Your Honor, and I cannot in good faith recommend that she plead guilty to a crime.

  D.A. George Handleman : Civilian complaint, Judge. I can't just drop it.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : [Judge McGrath understood]  All right. Let's go. Uh, Ms. Perkins, I'm sure the rest of your opening is gonna be terrific, but since I'll be deciding this case on the evidence, can we just get to it?

  Abby Perkins : Yes, sir.

  D.A. George Handleman : The People call Nancy Tritchler.

  [Nancy Tritchler will take the witness stand. This gotta take a few minutes] 

• D.A. George Handleman : And at some point, Ms. Tritchler, did you call the police about the phone calls?

  Nancy Tritchler : I had to. I couldn't take it anymore, the vile language, the threats. I had to do something to finally stop her.

  D.A. George Handleman : Thank you. I have nothing further.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Counselor.

  Abby Perkins : [Clears throat]  Ms. Tritchler, isn't it true that you often forgot to pick up your son after son?

  D.A. George Handleman : Objection, irrelevant.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Sustained.

  Abby Perkins : It goes to state of mind, Your Honor. I'm trying to established that my client called out of concern because she felt that Ms. Tritchler was neglecting the child.

  D.A. George Handleman : The witness is incompetent to testify as to the defendant's state of mind, but if it'll speed things up, the People will stipulate that the defendant thought the witness was a lousy mother and that she often called to express that sentiment. The People will also stipulate that the defendant's son felt exactly the same way.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Is that where you're going, Ms. Perkins, to show this woman these calls to criticize this woman's maternal performance?

  Abby Perkins : Yes.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Well, then I don't...

  Abby Perkins : Well, no, I mean, she called for more than that. She also call to provide information.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : You may proceed within that scope.

• Abby Perkins : Ms. Tritchler, didn't my client sometimes call to tell you things like where the boy could be picked up or what time he should be dropped off?

  Nancy Tritchler : No. His father would do that. She would only call to berate me.

  Delores Kirby : Like bloody hell.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : I will not tolerate any more of that, Mrs. Kilby.

  Abby Perkins : Isn't it true that she would sometimes call to ask you legitimate questions?

  Nancy Tritchler : She would, uh, call to tell me that I was the worst thing that ever happened to her son and that I was probably the worst thing that ever happened to my son.

  Abby Perkins : I have nothing further.

  D.A. George Handleman : The People rest, Your Honor.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : You may step down, Mrs. Tritchler.

  Abby Perkins : Um... Uh, the defense calls Delores Kirby.

  [Nancy Tritchler heads back to her seat. And Delores Kirby will take a stand. This'll take a few minutes] 

• Abby Perkins : Mrs. Kirby, could you tell the court what occasioned you to telephone the complainant repeatedly over the last 2 months?

  Delores Kirby : I was worried about my grandson.

  Abby Perkins : What specifically bothered you, Mrs. Kirby?

  Delores Kirby : Well, all her men friends, for one thing. She lives the life of a whore.

  Nancy Tritchler : I want that on the record.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Sit down, Ms. Tritchler.

  Delores Kirby : I don't think it's right that a 9-year-old boy should be brought up in that environment. I called to express my opinion. That's all.

  Abby Perkins : Now, Mrs. Kirby, the records indicate that sometimes you would call as many as 6 times a day.

  Delores Kirby : Most of those calls were to my grandson. I'd call, and he's be out playing, so I'd call back later. Can I help it if that filthy little slut keeps answering?

  Nancy Tritchler : I want that on the record...

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Will somebody please shut...

  Delores Kirby : Over your dead body.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : That's enough.

  Abby Perkins : Mrs. Kirby! Is it your testimony then that you made these calls to your ex-daughter-law not with the intent to annoy or harass, but simply out of concern for the welfare of your grandson?

  Delores Kirby : Yes, it is.

  Abby Perkins : Thank you. I have nothing further.

  D.A. George Handleman : No cross.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Mrs. Kirby, you're excused.

• Abby Perkins : The defense rest, Your Honor.

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Can we waive closing arguments?

  D.A. George Handleman : Yes.

  Abby Perkins : Well, I'd like to say...

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Nothing you could say, Ms. Perkins, could possibly sway me.

• Judge Douglas McGrath : Will the defendant please rise?

  [Defendant Delores Kirby Rises and Ms. Perkins and listened to Judge McGrath's ruling] 

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Mrs. Kirby, I'm sure you're a very given grandparent, but you have no right to call this woman to tell her she's a bad mother. You have no right to threaten her or to use obscene language. If you want to file a report with social services, that's one thing. But those repeated calls constitute a criminal violation. Don't do it. Now, what I'm gonna do is continue this matter without a finding for one year. If you behave, I'll dismiss the complaint at that time. But if you continue to make these calls, I will find you guilty on the facts presented to me today. I'll slap you with a big fine, and I'll make you spend a week in jail. Now, I know you don't want that to happen, so no more calls.

• Judge Douglas McGrath : Now, Mr. Handleman, Ms. Perkins, approach the bench.

  [Ms. Perkins and Mr. Handleman arrived the sidebar for the last time. Judge McGrath has something important he want to say] 

  Judge Douglas McGrath : Let me offer you these observations, Ms. Perkins, in the hope that you learn something from them. I found your irresponsible rejection of the city attorney's offer, coupled with a defense strategy that all but assured conviction, and compounded by your inability to control your own client to be shamefully unprofessional. Please be so kind to tell your friend that the next time they look to send inexperienced attorney's out to cut their teeth, that they stay away from my courtroom. That's all.