- Hank Kingsley: This is it gentlemen! This is fucking it! The seeds of disrespect for Hank Kingsley that had been sown so liberally around this office has finnaly come to bloom.
- Phil: [reading Hank's newsletter which was sabotaged with a penis vagina joke in between] Hahaha oh God.
- Hank Kingsley: Enjoying your handy work?
- Phil: That's kind of a crude way to expand your readership, isn't it, Hank?
- Hank Kingsley: Shut your mouth, you little shit!
- Arthur: He-hey!
- Phil: Well, I guess we know what side of the family you got that mouth from.
- Hank Kingsley: Listen to me...
- Arthur: You compose yourself, Hank. Ok, Phil... I appreciate good penis vagina joke as much as the next man but uh...
- Phil: You think I did this?
- Hank Kingsley: It screams you!
- Phil: It screams penis vagina more than anything.
- Arthur: C'mon Phil.
- Phil: I didn't do this! I swear to you Hank. I admire the idea but the execution is sophomoric. If I'd something like that I would say like "you come home from a hard day at the paper round and you're mom standing there and she has a very thin dressing gown and it slids open...
- [Hank tries to attack Phil]
- Arthur: Easy! He didn't do it! Let it go.
- David Letterman: Take the award. I'm not kidding around this time. Take it please. It would mean a lot to take it. Go ahead.
- Larry Sanders: Okay.
- [tries to take the award but Letterman pulls back]
- David Letterman: You're insane.
- Larry Sanders: See? Fucker.
- David Letterman: Boy oh boy. Are you nuts? I've never seen a guy like you.