- [last lines]
- Tom: I can't believe Smiler knew a barmaid. Even one that squeaked.
- Smiler: She was from Newcastle.
- Billy: Oh well then, that explains it.
- Truly: And what's all this about carrying the wife over the threshold?
- Clegg: You can see where second marriages get more difficult.
- Truly: I got a little too much to drink at the reception. I believe it was the former Mrs Truelove who carried me.
- Smiler: Do you lot play golf?
- Entwhistle: We invented it.
- Tom: I thought that was a Scotsman.
- Entwhistle: No way! We're not taking the blame for inventing Scotsmen.
- [first lines]
- Auntie: Just one moment.
- [she locks the door]
- Auntie: Is she psychic, or have I had a breach of security?
- Marina: I can't remember the last time I breached abybody's security.
- Auntie: You mean you didn't know that as the tenth customer of the day you win my star prize?
- Marina: Ah, good heavens! What star prize?
- Auntie: You get the opportunity to buy my star bargain at an even further reduction.
- Marina: An even further reduction! What star bargain?
- Auntie: The jewel in my crown. A reconditioned twin-tub washer with spin dryer.
- Marina: No, I don't think so. Me mother does all that.
- Auntie: Well, you could lighten her load.
- Marina: She wouldn't thank me for it. She *likes* overwork and being harassed. She's of that generation.
- Auntie: Well, of course, if you've set your mind on something more expensive... What was it you were looking for?
- Marina: I'm looking for a hairnet.
- Auntie: An entire hairnet. Let me see... Nets... nets...
- Glenda: Barry hates fingermarks on his car, I hope he can manage without touching anything.
- Roz: Oh, that's what your mother used to say when we first started courting.
- Pearl: Yours too?
- Roz: Oh she was dreadful. She was; she was dreadful. I mean she was lovely, but she *was* dreadful... You see, she had this vision of Judgement Day, with God getting rid of anybody that stayed out after ten o'clock.
- Pearl: They're all the same. When you look at things now, you can see how right they were.
- Glenda: My mother thinks I still shouldn't be out after ten o'clock.
- Roz: Oh, does she? Wrll, let me tell you something; I've seen your mother getting very close to being late a couple of times.
- Glenda: Me mother?
- Roz: Yes, your mother! My sister!
- Pearl: Anyway, if you put your mind to it it's amazing what can be done before ten o'clock.