Laverne & Shirley (TV Series)

Not Quite New York (1980)

Cindy Williams: Shirley Feeney

Photos 

Quotes 

• Laverne DeFazio : [to Shirley, after deciding to not take Max's demeaning job offer of truck washing]  Are you with me or not?

  Shirley Feeney : [snapping]  Tell him whatever you want!

  Laverne DeFazio : Mr. Shotz?

  Max Shotz : [over loudspeaker]  Well, what have you decided?

  Laverne DeFazio : We think your truck washing job stinks!

  Max Shotz : You're fired!

  Shirley Feeney : Oh no, we're not! Because... we quit!

  Max Shotz : [Laverne and Shirley hold ketchup and mustard squirters over his portrait]  DON'T YOU DARE!

  [they deface the portrait with the condiments] 

• Shirley Feeney : [after Laverne has suggested that Lenny and Squiggy drive them to California]  Lenny and Squiggy? Do you honestly believe that it's safe traveling cross-country with them?

  Laverne DeFazio : Safer than kissin' 'em goodbye!

• Max Shotz : [over public address system in breakroom, where the bottlecappers have all gathered for a meeting]  Attention all bottlecappers. I have gathered you all here today to announce that I have purchased the new XJ-762.

  Laverne DeFazio : [to Shirley]  He bought a car?

  Max Shotz : ...the machine that makes bottlecapping extremely easy.

  Shirley Feeney : [applauding]  Let's hear it for Mr. Shotz! Let's hear it for him!

  [other bottlecappers in the room also applaud] 

  Max Shotz : [continuing]  So easy, that you're all... fired. You will all receive two weeks pay. Goodbye, good luck, and get out!

• Laverne DeFazio : [to Shirley happily after everyone else leaves the breakroom after being fired]  Hey Shirl! Two weeks vacation, huh?

  Shirley Feeney : [shrieking]  What are you talking about? We've been fired!

  Laverne DeFazio : Yeah, but not for two weeks! Where do you want to go?

  Max Shotz : [over loudspeaker]  Feeney, DeFazio...

  Shirley Feeney : [rushing to Max's portrait in the breakroom, under the loudspeaker]  Yes, sir! Yes, Mr. Shotz, sir! May I straighten you there a little bit, sir.

  [adjusts portrait, Laverne turns away in disgust] 

  Laverne DeFazio : Oh, Shirl!

  Max Shotz : [as Shirley finishes adjusting his portrait]  Thank you. Because you are, in fact, the oldest living bottlecappers here at Shotz, we've decided to create a new job for you with only a small cut in pay.

  Shirley Feeney : Uh sir, what pays less than bottlecapping?

  Max Shotz : Delivery truck washing.

  Laverne DeFazio : [turns up her nose]  Truck washing? That's no job, that's an insult!