- June Cleaver: Do you think all parents have this much trouble?
- Ward Cleaver: No. Just parents with children.
- Richard Rickover: Why don't we go down to the old McMahan house and mess around?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Nah, my dad doesn't want me hangin' around that old house. A guy could get hurt.
- Richard Rickover: Aw, I bet you're afraid to go down there because you think it's haunted.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: I do not! And there's no such things as ghosts! And, anyway, they don't come out in the afternoon.
- [first lines]
- Gilbert Bates: What d'you wanna do, Beaver?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: I dunno. What d'you wanna do, Gilbert?
- Gilbert Bates: I dunno, Beav. What d'you wanna do?
- Richard Rickover: I'll do anything you guys wanna do.
- Gilbert Bates: Who asked you, Richard?
- Richard Rickover: Look, I just said I'll do anything you guys wanna do.
- Gilbert Bates: Oh. Well, first of all we gotta figure out what we're gonna do.
- [last lines]
- Richard Rickover: Hey! What d'you wanna do?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: I dunno. What d'you wanna do?
- Richard Rickover: I dunno. I'll do anything you wanna do.
- Wally Cleaver: [At breakfast, Wally describes a cross-country bus tour] Well, Eddie Haskell got this thing in the mail. They take a whole bunch of guys and you get to see all the historical sights. They put all the girls on one bus and all the guys on another bus. They don't let you get in any trouble, but Eddie said we oughta go anyway.
- Ward Cleaver: [breakfast conversation] I've been put on a committee to help build a new youth center.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: What's a youth center?
- Wally Cleaver: Oh, that's a big building where they get all the kids together so they can watch 'em.
- June Cleaver: Well, I think both of you boys should be very proud of your father being selected for the committee.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Gee, Mom! We were proud of Dad even when he wasn't anything!
- Wally Cleaver: You mean, you mean some other kid gave the policeman *your* name?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: That's what he did, all right.
- Wally Cleaver: Boy, I didn't think any of your friends could think that fast.
- Ward Cleaver: [Ward is trying to find out which boy framed the Beaver] Well, Beaver, who was it?
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Gee, Dad! I don't want to be a squealer!
- Ward Cleaver: I realize that, son. But this is a little different case here. You see, by giving your name, this boy put *you* in jeopardy.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: Huh?
- Wally Cleaver: What Dad means is that it's not squealin' if you rat on a rat.
- Theodore 'Beaver' Cleaver: [later, Ward leaves] Hey, Wally. Tell me something now that Dad is gone. Did I really do the right thing squealin' on Richard?
- Wally Cleaver: Sure, you did! You can't let a guy get away with junk like that! Anyway, you practically got the whole United States Constitution backing up your squealin'.