- Ward Cleaver: I thought the boys were up here.
- June Cleaver: Uh-uh.
- Ward Cleaver: Well, they've deserted the vacant lot.
- June Cleaver: They went into the garage a while ago with a box. Looked like it was filled with dirt. Ward, what would they do with a box full of dirt?
- Ward Cleaver: Well, June, the possibilities of dirt are practically unlimited.
- June Cleaver: I think you ought to go out there and see what they're up to.
- Ward Cleaver: June, I can't do that. Unless your kids are tearing something down, or burning something up, or being unkind to old ladies, y'have to leave 'em alone. That's the unwritten law.
- [later, Beaver is just leaving after June won't listen to the gang's secret]
- June Cleaver: [to Ward] He's got a big secret, and he's just busting to tell someone.
- Ward Cleaver: Well, did you ask him what it was?
- June Cleaver: Well, of course not, dear. Unless they're tearing down buildings or burning up old ladies, we just don't pry. Unwritten law.
- [Tooey brings over a book to identify the rocks the gang has found]
- The Beaver: Did'ja find out what they is?
- Tooey Brown: Yeah. Here's a picture. They're garnets.
- Chester Anderson: Yeah, I guess they are. Hey, what are garnets? Are they valuable?
- Tooey Brown: Are they valuable! - they use 'em in jewels. It says in India, they even sell 'em for rubies.
- Chester and Eddie: [letting it sink in] Rubies.
- Wally Cleaver: Hey, and we got a whole vacant lot full of 'em.
- The Beaver: Gee, they must be worth a jillion dollars a pound!
- Chester Anderson: Boy, we'll be richer'n any kid in the whole world. Even Sal Mineo!
- June Cleaver: Beaver, I thought you were upstairs taking a bath.
- The Beaver: I'm gonna wait 'til Wally takes his, and use his water.
- June Cleaver: You'll do no such thing.
- The Beaver: Yes, Mom.
- [the guys are washing up some rocks they think are valuable]
- Chester Anderson: Boy, look at the size of this one. This must be worth a thousand bucks by itself.
- Eddie Haskell: I saw a movie once. These guys pried a stone just like this out of this great big idol's eye. All the guys died 'cause it had a curse on it.
- The Beaver: I hope nobody's been cursin' around here.
- Wally Cleaver: Hey, I saw that picture, Eddie. It happened in Egypt. Those kinda curses aren't allowed to work on Americans.