- Johnny Johnson: Well, there was this boy in Illinois who only had one year of schooling and five different teachers before he started out learning on his own.
- Isaiah Edwards: I'm sure he turned out to be a four-footed ignoramus.
- Johnny Johnson: He turned out to be President Lincoln.
- Isaiah Edwards: Oh.
- Charles Ingalls: That's the one thing I like about girls. You don't have to worry about them running off.