- Miranda: What's the big rush in growing up anyways?
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: I just want to know when it happens! I mean, where's my moment? I can't shave yet, I don't have a dirt bike, the tattoo was obviously not for me. I can't even catch a fish! How am I gonna know when I'm no longer a boy?
- Lizzie McGuire: I guess you'll just know.
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: It's not good enough. I mean, you guys will know when it happens. It's biological.
- Miranda: Ohh, creepy! Let's not go there.
- Lizzie McGuire: Must be something in the water. I mean, first Ethan, now Larry...
- Miranda: You're not actually gonna use Ethan and Larry in the same sentence, are you?
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: You just did.
- [Miranda looks resigned]
- Jo McGuire: Hey, Mrs. Robinson...
- [notices that Mrs. Robinson is holding Matt after his collar]
- Jo McGuire: Matt, what did you do this time?
- Matt McGuire: It's all a misunderstanding...
- Mrs. Robinson: He was stealing oranges from my tree. Again!
- Sam McGuire: Is this true, Matt?
- Matt McGuire: Well, "stealing" is such a... strong word!
- David 'Gordo' Gordon: Today is important, for a lot of different reasons. But mostly because today, I leave my childhood behind and become a man. Now, the truth is, I could have marked this transition a million different ways. And believe me, I've considered most of them. But I knew that whenever I did, it had to be right for me. So I searched and I questioned, and I heard lots of stories from many men. Funny thing is... the person I learned most about, was me. And I realized that figuring out who I am was made easier by realizing who I'm not. So why this Bar Mitzvah, and not a tattoo? Or fishing? Or even a dirt bike? The answer is simple: because this is what felt right to me.