- Lizzie: Gordo says it's always useful to confound your peers by doing the thing that's expected of you. I have no idea if he's right, but I figure if you're going to listen to anybody, it might as well be a guy who spends an entire Saturday helping you tie-dye your sheets.
- Gordo: [to Lizzie] Give your mom a break. It's no great deal being grown up. My mom's idea of fun is watching CNN while she's on the treadmill. Hey, I'd snap, too.
- Lizzie: Listen, Judge Judy, if I thought you were going to take their side, I wouldn't have started this conversation. So don't even try defending Miranda because there's nothing you can say. Fine, say it.
- Gordo: I just don't see how you can be so mad at her for doing the one thing you want to do so much.
- Lizzie: That's not it. You know, I don't even care if she goes.
- Gordo: You just don't want her to have a good time.
- Lizzie: N... no... no.
- Gordo: Look, I know how you feel. My best friend was going to go this party without me.
- Lizzie: So you can't go either.
- Gordo: I wasn't invited.
- Lizzie: Oh, that stinks.
- Gordo: Yeah, but there are just some things you get used to and let me tell you, that isn't one of them.
- Lizzie: So was your friend going anyway?
- Gordo: Turns out she can't. It's her grandmother's birthday.
- Lizzie: That's an amazing coincidence.
- Gordo: Thought you'd think so.
- Matt McGuire: When I have a family, there's going to be a whole different balance of power.
- Sam McGuire: I wish you a lot of luck with that, son.
- Gordo: You know what's astonishing? People are always saying to us, "Say no to drugs, say no to smoking." But not one word of the emotional horror of choosing up sides in gym class. It can scar you for life.
- Gordo: Look, in life, you have two choices: one, you get to be super cool and popular for a few insignificant years of school or two, you get to become a valuable member of society and gloat about it at every reunion for decades afterwards. You can't have both.
- Lizzie: [about Miranda] I can't believe she could just do that to me. Just like completely blow me off. Oh, she's such a total hypocrite which she will never admit.
- Gordo: Well, you can't really admit to being a hypocrite because well, then you're not a hypocrite.
- Lizzie: Gordo, what goes on in your head? Is it just like one continuous game show?
- Lizzie: [narrating, as the camera points to Kate Sanders and her friends] Kate Sanders. She used to be our other best friend until she bought a bra. Now she won't speak to us.
- [Kate gives Lizzie and her friends a pouty look then goes back to talking with her friends]
- Lizzie: My mom says she remembers what it was like when she was my age. She says everyone's going through the same physical and psychological changes as I am, that we all just handle them different. And except for chat rooms and brain surgeon Barbies, things aren't all that different and that's what makes us who we are. I know she's trying to help, so I tell her she is 'cause that's pretty much the only way I can get out of my room.
- Lizzie: My best friend, Miranda Sanchez. I'm the only person who knows she has little dress-up outfits for her Beanie Babies. Not the kind of information you can trust with a lot of people.
- Matt McGuire: [to Sam and Jo] Be thankful you have one easy child.
- Lizzie: Sorry, Gordo. I'm in the middle of a crisis.
- Gordo: Yeah? Tell me. I could use a good crisis. I'm so sick of listening to all these brain-dead nimwits twittering on about Danny Kessler's pool party.
- Miranda Sanchez: We may not be your target audience.
- Gordo: Oh, not you, too. Lizzie McGuire, I'm so disappointed in you.
- Lizzie: Gordo, give me a break. I'm allowed to be shallow once in a while.
- Lizzie: It's okay, it's okay. I don't need my mother. I don't need my best friend. I don't need anybody. I'll be a loner, independent. A woman who runs with the wolves.
- Jo McGuire: [to Sam about Lizzie when he tries to talk to her] That's it? That's all you got?
- Sam McGuire: Hey, I got a body part in the room. That's more than you can say.
- Jo McGuire: But she won't talk to anyone. I mean, she hasn't even called Miranda which is really weird.
- Sam McGuire: Okay.
- Jo McGuire: Don't you even care what's going on?
- Sam McGuire: Yes, yes. Fine. I'll go back in and ask her.
- Jo McGuire: Well, wait a minute. This isn't your area of expertise.
- Sam McGuire: Our child is not my area of expertise? May I remind you that I'm the one that potty-trained her?
- Jo McGuire: Yes. I know, I know. You're enshrined in the Parenting Hall of Fame. It's just that I'm talking about girls. They can be really toxic to each other. They gossip, they ridicule and sometimes your best friend can be your worst enemy.
- Sam McGuire: That's really more than I wanted to know.
- Sam McGuire: [after talking to Lizzie] Wow. Her life has so much emotion, so much drama. It's completely exhilirating to have her open up like that to me.
- Jo McGuire: How nice for you.