- Charlie Hume: [flabbergasted] You haven't had a physical since the army?
- Lou Grant: 400 naked guys. I saw a lot of ugly things in the war, but nothing as ugly as that.
- Lou Grant: It's the only way to learn to write; jump in and start doing it.
- Chris: [nervous but excited] Ok, ok, all right.
- [leaves]
- Art Donovan: That's how my father taught me to swim. He just threw me right in.
- Lou Grant: Hm.
- Art Donovan: [upbeat] I drowned.
- Charlie Hume: I wouldn't worry about it.
- Lou Grant: You wouldn't, huh?
- Charlie Hume: Nah! The human body is prone to knots and bumbs. I mean, we, we, we, we get more and more like trees as we get older.
- Lou Grant: God... what if it's Dutch Elm disease?
- National Editor: The guy got arrested in an Indiana coffee shop for wearing his underpants on his head.
- Charlie Hume: I, I don't think he was arrested for wearing 'em on his head, but for not wearing them some place else.
- National Editor: No, he was fully dressed. He just had his underpants on his head.
- Adam Wilson: I can see grounds for arrest if they were someone else's underpants.
- National Editor: No, no, they were his own underpants.
- Springerman: Did the judge find him guilty?
- National Editor: Strange as it seems, Indiana has no law against wearing your underpants on your head.
- Charlie Hume: Exciting as that is, it just doesn't sound like front page stuff.