Photos
Quotes
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Frank Burns : [bombs heard in background] I hope we're giving it to 'em good, those little yellow reds.
Hawkeye : Frank, you better take two yellow reds and go to sleep.
Frank Burns : Oh, you like getting shot at, Dr. Goody Two-Shoes?
Hawkeye : I just don't know why they're shooting at us. All we want to do is bring them democracy and white bread, transplant the American Dream: freedom, achievement, hyperacidity, affluence, flatulence, technology, tension, the inalienable right to an early coronary sitting at your desk while plotting to stab your boss in the back. That's entertainment!
Frank Burns : Pierce, you are certifiably insane.
Hawkeye : Gee, I can't understand why. Here I am, 20,000 miles from home working as an extra in a war movie with this guy's blood dripping into my boot. Nurse, you want to do something about that, or must I kiss you into submission?
Lt. Ginger Bayliss : Right away, doctor.
Hawkeye : That's not insane-making, Frank. Neither is bedding down every night with a flea circus, or eating food prepared by a cook who used to make box lunches for Kamikaze pilots, or getting so bored out my skull, I put on my dress uniform for a trip to the latrine!
Frank Burns : Will you watch your language?
Margaret : There are nurses present.
Hawkeye : Oh, forgive me. I'd like to offer the nurses a blanket apology. Or even better, I'd like to offer them a blanket invitation.
Frank Burns : Smut merchant.
Henry Blake : Oh, pipe down, Burns.
Frank Burns : Oh sure, always. You jump all over me, but he can say what he wants, and he gets away with it. Colonel's pet, that's what you are!
Hawkeye : I'll get you at recess!
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Margaret : Major Burns is being abused!
Henry Blake : Cut that out, Frank.
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Lt. Col. Henry Blake : We need more silk, Radar.
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : We're all out, sir.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : All right. In my tent, under my bed, next to the milk bottle there's a package of sewing thread. Lorraine sent it to me. Go.
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Yes, sir.
Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan : Colonel, ordinary thread for stitches?
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : It's either that or use the stapler in my office, Major.
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Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : You okay? You look beat, sir.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : I feel like death on a soda cracker. How are we doing?
Cpl. Walter 'Radar' O'Reilly : Well, we're running out of gowns, towels and 3-0 silk. Only thing we got plenty of is wounded.
Lt. Col. Henry Blake : Scrounge, Radar, scrounge.
