M*A*S*H (TV Series)

The Nurses (1976)

Loretta Swit: Maj. Margaret 'Hot Lips' Houlihan

Photos 

Quotes 

• Margaret : [chastising the nurses, as she holds back tears]  Did you ever show me any kind of friendship? Ask my help with a personal problem? Include me in one of your little bull sessions? Can you imagine what it feels like to walk by this tent and hear you laughing and know... I'm not welcome? Did you ever once ever offer me a lousy cup of coffee?

  Nurse : [Stunned at this show of emotion]  We didn't think you'd accept.

  Margaret : Well, you were wrong.

• Margaret : I will not tolerate drunkenness.

  Nurse Gaynor : Major, I already did my duty. Seventeen hours overtime and three cardiac arrests. You can't upset me. I'm numb. I don't even feel sad with burn patients that look like mummies. That's why I'm drinking... to feel something.

• Margaret : My hair has always been this color.

  Lt. Mickey Baker : You mean blond with black roots?

  Margaret : I don't have black roots.

  Lt. Mickey Baker : Alright, grey.

• Margaret : Where am I supposed to sleep?

  Col. Sherman T. Potter : With the nurses.

  Margaret : With the nurses?

  Col. Sherman T. Potter : Have them set up an extra cot.

  Margaret : Isn't there some other way?

  Col. Sherman T. Potter : Why? Is that a problem?

  Margaret : No. Of course not, Colonel.

  Capt. Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce : If it is, I can sleep with the nurses and Major Houlihan can sleep in the swamp, if she doesn't mind snoring.

  Capt. B.J. Hunnicutt : It won't bother me if she snores.