- Andrew Bartlett: I pushed you kids hard because I wanted you to be somebody.
- Scott Bartlett: I am somebody, dad. Always have been. I wasn't anybody you liked. Anybody you respected.
- Andrew Bartlett: What's this all about?
- Scott Bartlett: [brandishing a gun] Consider it a hostile take over.
- [first lines]
- Willis: [voice on tape] Welcome to the Wasteland, MacGyver. Put it in gear, drive straight ahead for three miles and the next living thing you'll see will be me. I made this audio tape to keep you company and to prepare you for the bad news I've been accumulating about the death of this land that was once busy with living things. God said, "Let there be life," and there was life. Man said, "Let me develop, use and consume everything I can without thinking about the consequences," and this is the result. Charming, isn't it?
- Scott Bartlett: [after sabotaging his father] Sometimes you have to do unpleasant things, Laura. Dad taught us that.