- Higgins: It is eminently satisfying, Magnum, to know that as a result of this, a few heads will roll in Moscow. You know, when I was in Vienna, the Soviets tried to recruit me as an agent. Unbelievable crude, I came home one night to find a naked woman in my bed. I knew immediately she was Russian. They use stainless steel
- [taps his teeth]
- Higgins: instead of gold.
- Magnum: Remember I told ya I didn't like getting egg on my face? Well right now, I'm wearing a whole omelet.
- Yuri Dolgof: You're a private investigator?
- Magnum: Yes.
- [laughs amiably while drying his hair with a towel]
- Yuri Dolgof: You are wearing a swimsuit.
- Magnum: Don't worry, I got a whole closet full of pants.
- Magnum: [attempting to bribe the house detective] Look, couldn't we settle this with a little green piece of paper, you know the kind with Andrew Jackson's picture on it?