- Orville 'Rick' Wright: [after the wedding] To the late, great Thomas Sullivan Magnum.
- [raises champagne glass]
- Orville 'Rick' Wright: May he rest in peace.
- Higgins: My God, Rick, how can you drink that swill? Malaria-infested Burmese swamp water was more palatable.
- Orville 'Rick' Wright: Gee, Higgins, I kinda like it.
- Higgins: That doesn't surprise me. Nothing about this... soiree surprises me. Everything is so flawlessly vulgar. Macaroni salad and plastic flowers. But then one can hardly expect anything else from Harry MacKenzie.
- Theodore 'TC' Calvin: Hey, lighten up, Higgy-baby, this guy is supposed to be worth millions.
- Higgins: Clearly a blessed confirmation that breeding and class can not be bought. Thank the heavens.
- Orville 'Rick' Wright: [chuckles] You know something, Higgins? You're a snob.
- Higgins: I prefer to think of myself as civilized.
- Orville 'Rick' Wright: This is a class act. First class, here.
- [accidentally drops his glass]
- Higgins: [Rick's glass doesn't break] Plastic champagne glasses. I rest my case. I feel more confident than ever that Magnum will immediately feel right at home with his new inlaws.
- Marsha Mackenzie: [to departing Greta and Otto] Bye!
- Magnum: Thanks. Bye-bye.
- Marsha Mackenzie: [after they'd gone, she sighs] I thought they would never leave. The, uh, threshold, don't you think that was a bit much?
- Magnum: Isn't that how it's done?
- Marsha Mackenzie: Sure. In 1947.
- [and then Thomas accidentally steps on her bridal dress, and it rips]
- Marsha Mackenzie: Oh! Watch out! Oh, you... *big klutz!*
- Magnum: I didn't do anything. I was just standing here.
- Marsha Mackenzie: [yells] Do you have any idea how much this dress cost?
- Magnum: Hey!
- [chuckles]
- Magnum: It was an accident. I'm sorry!
- Marsha Mackenzie: Well, I should have known. Big body, little brain.
- Magnum: This is not gonna be easy...
- Marsha Mackenzie: Brilliant deduction.
- Magnum: Look...
- [scoffs]
- Magnum: Don't you think that we could try to be just a little understanding? Otherwise we're gonna be at each other's throats!
- Marsha Mackenzie: Don't you threaten me.
- Magnum: That is not a threat!
- Marsha Mackenzie: Stop yelling!
- Magnum: I'm not yelling! I'm speaking loudly! You're the one that's yelling!
- Harry MacKenzie: [enters] Hey, hey, hey! Knock it off! This is a *nice* neighborhood. You two are beginning to sound like you actually are married.
- Marsha Mackenzie: I'd rather *be dead!*
- [leaves in a huff]
- Harry MacKenzie: [re feisty Marsha] Being married to a woman like that would give a whole new meaning to the word 'divorce'.