- Police Commissioner: Do I appear to look concerned?
- Lois: What? Yeah, sure you look concerned.
- Police Commissioner: Oh thank God. My handlers say that I don't pull it off.
- Lois: [finds out what her boys are doing] Oh my God!
- Dewey: Did you hear that?
- Lois: What are you boys doing up there?
- Malcolm: It's Mom!
- Dewey: How did she know where to find us?
- Reese: I told you, she's got tracking devices in our fillings! If you two geniuses had ripped them out like I did, we wouldn't have been in this mess!
- Dewey: Maybe she didn't see us.
- Lois: Reese, Malcolm, Dewey, you get down here this instant.
- Reese: [bad Spanish accent] Miss, I don't know what you are talking about. Your boys are different boys than our being.
- [the light turns on the stripper billboard; the boys back up and Lois rolls her eyes]
- Reese: [afraid] Where's the back door for this thing?
- Malcolm: [scared] It's a billboard!
- Dewey: [terrified] We're so dead. This time she'll finish us.
- Lois: Come down, now!
- Malcolm: [Reese, Dewey, and Malcolm are fighting over the cupcake with the cherry on top] Wait! Why would they only put a cherry on one cupcake? This is mom.
- [stands up]
- Malcolm: There may be those who will try to drive a wedge between us, but if we learn nothing else tonight, we will learn to stand together.
- Lois: Dammit.