- Francis: Dewey, there's a principle I learned in military school. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the guy who can't run fast.
- Francis: [Malcolm and Reese want to get rid of some strangers in their house and call Francis for help, who talks to the leader] You don't want me to get the cops over here, do you? And I'm sure you don't want me to tell them who pulled over the water tower.
- Donnie: That was you, Francis.
- Francis: Really? So what about the highway overpass?
- Donnie: That was also you.
- Francis: Car wash? The sink hole!
- Donnie: All you!
- Francis: Well, you guys want to be in the house and I think that's ok.
- [the guy closes the door]
- Francis: [to Malcolm and Reese] I think we gave them enough to think about.
- Malcolm: Kathy, Hi
- Kathy McCulskey: Hey,
- [roles eyes at Donny]
- Kathy McCulskey: You didn't tell me there were gonna be other guys here.
- Malcolm: Yeah, well-
- Kathy McCulskey: Just because you read something on a bathroom wall, doesn't mean its true.
- Reese: What's in the bag? Candles, chocolate-covered strawberries, "Sleepless in Seattle"... My God, you're gay.
- Malcolm: No I'm not. Look, I don't know how I did it, but I talked Kathy McCulskey into coming over tonight.
- Reese: Kathy McCulskey? I'm impressed. She doesn't leave her house for anything less than second base.