Married... with Children (TV Series)

Al Goes Deep (1994)

Kevin Curran: Buck

Quotes 

• [after eating Peggy's homemade bonbon, which has extra sugar and caffeine in it, Marcy, full of energy, runs swiftly around Al after he comes home] 

  Marcy D'Arcy : [talks fast]  Al's home! Al's home! I hate you. Welcome home, Al. How was your day? I've had a great day. Still haven't gotten my tax refund. It'll come soon. It's gonna be a big one. Have you tasted Peggy's bonbons? Gee, I wonder what's on TV tonight. It's Sunday. Oh, no, Carlin's on. Al's home. Hi, Al.

  [Marcy runs out the door] 

  Al Bundy : Who put the battery in the energizer chicken?

  Peggy Bundy : Gee, maybe I made this batch a tad too sweet. Here, Buck, what do you think?

  [Buck eats Peggy's bonbon] 

  Al Bundy : Peg, have you seen Kelly and Chad?

  Peggy Bundy : Yeah. They went to the zoo.

  Al Bundy : Yeah, but I heard he missed practice today.

  Peggy Bundy : So?

  Al Bundy : "So"? Peg, don't you understand? If Chad doesn't win...

  [Al hears a loud pounding sound. He turns around and sees Marcy rapidly chopping wood outside] 

  Al Bundy : You know, it's not gonna be a pretty sight when she crashes. Or when he does.

  [Buck is running around in circles extremely fast] 

  Buck : [talks fast]  I'm gonna kill'em. I'm gonna wait 'til they're asleep. Then I'm gonna kill'em. Then I'm gonna eat'em. I'm gonna kill'em, eat'em, then bury their bones.

  Al Bundy : I knew this would happen. Kelly's making it hard for Chad to concentrate on the game.

  Peggy Bundy : Relax, Al. They're just a couple of kids in love. They remind me of us when we were that age.

  Al Bundy : That's exactly why I have to put a stop to it!

• Buck : The secret of attracting the opposite sex is in the mutual sniffing of butts.

• Al Bundy : So I'm out $17.34. So I'll just take it from the register tomorrow.

  [Jefferson enters] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Al, you're the greatest. When I told my bookie this inside information, he bet 100 grand of his own money. Even the jukebox guys are in on it. With their 500 grand, my 200, and your $17.34, we're gonna make a killing. You're gonna be a hero, Al.

  Buck : You're gonna be kibble, Al.