Married... with Children (TV Series)

Buck Can Do It (1987)

Derek McGrath: Buck - Dream Sequence

Photos 

Quotes 

• Al Bundy : Oh, Buck. I didn't want this to happen.

  Buck : I know you didn't, Bundy. And that what makes it even harder to swallow. Ah, what's the difference? I'm sick of the sight of you! I wish you were dead!

  Al Bundy : Where are you going?

  Buck : Oh, I guess I'll go out and sniff a few butts for old times' sake.

  [Buck opens the front door and a blood-splattered, leather-masked chainsaw-wielding figure, Leatherface, and a hockey-masked, machete-wielding figure, Jason Voorhees, enter] 

  Chainsaw : Hi. We're insane killers!

  [Buck beckons them to come on in] 

  Al Bundy : Sic 'em, Buck!

  Buck : Heh, heh!

  [Buck exits out the front door where he closes and locks it behind him with Al inside with the two killers who advance towards him] 

  Al Bundy : Buck! Oh, Buck! Come back! Save me! I'll give you extra yummies! AHHHH!

• Al Bundy : Still mad at me because I got you neutered, huh?

  Buck : What? You want me to dance for joy? Bring your pipe and slippers? Roll over so you can rub my belly and see my shame?

  Al Bundy : I thought you were supposed to be more affectionate.

  Buck : Yeah, right. How about poking my eyes out? Maybe that'll do it.

• Al Bundy : Come on, Buck. You can't mope around feeling sorry for yourself. Hey, how about I take you for a walk? I heard they painted the fire hydrant at the end of the corner.

  Buck : Nah. A lot of the "male" dogs hang out there.

  Al Bundy : All right, let's clear the air here. This was for your own good.

  Buck : [sarcastic]  Oh, thank you master. You know my head is a great source of pleasure for me too. How about cutting it off?

• Al Bundy : Oh come on, Buck. There's got to be something to cheer you up. I know! How about a shiny new collar?

  Buck : [cynical]  Oh, yeah! That's much better then what I had before. Gee, how about one with studs? You know to impress the ladies? That is before they find out that I'm a eunuch!

• Buck : Well Bundy, I guess you're pretty darn proud of yourself, huh?

  Al Bundy : Oh come on, Buck. I tried to stop this.

  Buck : You might have tried a little harder.

  Al Bundy : I know, why don't we do something to get your mind off it? Hey, you want to watch the Bears game?

  Buck : Oh, I don't know. I'm not really into sports anymore. How about taking me to a Peter Allen concert?