Married... with Children (TV Series)

Field of Screams (1994)

Buck: Buck the Dog

Quotes 

• Bud Bundy : [dismayed]  Come on, Ma, tell the truth.

  [looking down at his man-boobs] 

  Bud Bundy : Do you think these will turn girls off?

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, come on, honey. Don't let a little thing like a couple of boobs get you down. It's not like you're permanent. I mean, it's been a whole week and look how much better Buck is getting.

  Buck the Dog : [Buck is now a turkey]  I sure hope this crap wears off before Thanksgiving.

  Bud Bundy : Maybe you're right, Ma. I'll just hide for a while. It's not like I had any plans this week.

  [goes to answer doorbell] 

  Sascha : [in doorway, luscious blonde, with breathy voice]  Hi, Bud.

  [Bud is hiding behind door, mortified] 

  Sascha : It's me, Sascha, the girl you've wanted every day and night of your life since the first grade. Well, I'm about to enter a convent, and I wanted to be with a real man for my first, last, and only time. Take me, Bud! Take me now!

  Bud Bundy : [reaches out from behind door - her luscious body is so near, yet so far - gives up]  You caught me at a bad time. Goodbye.

  Sascha : [gasps a startled little stifled cry of defeat]  Oh!

  Peggy Bundy : [to retreating Bud]  Where are you going?

  Bud Bundy : [plodding up the stairs to his room]  To cop a feel and kill myself.

  Kelly Bundy : [entering]  Hi, Mom. Does Bud still have boobs?

  [Peggy nods] 

  Kelly Bundy : Ah, well, then I'll be sleeping at Cindy's.