Married... with Children (TV Series)

Married... with Prom Queen: Part 1 (1989)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Edna : Oh, Peggy, you look exactly the same. Hey, whatever happened to that good-looking sex machine you were sporting around town?

  [Al clears his throat, looking proud] 

  Edna : You know, Todd Fleming?

  Peggy Bundy : Well, I thought I could do better. Heh. I was wrong. Uh, this is my husband, Al.

  Edna : Al Bundy. Of course. Well, you look the same, too, Al. What a shame.

  Al Bundy : How's it going, Edna? You don't look a day over 1000. How do you do it?

• Al Bundy : Peg, I don't want to go to the reunion. Can't we just forget about the good times and get on with our lives?

• Peggy Bundy : Okay, Al, let's go over this one more time. Now, what do you do for a living?

  Al Bundy : Garbage man.

  Peggy Bundy : How often do we make love?

  Al Bundy : Five times a year.

  Peggy Bundy : It's five times a week, Al.

  Al Bundy : Oh, come on, Peg, no one's going to believe that.

  Peggy Bundy : I'm not asking you to do it. Just say it. Okay, now, how many children have we got?

  Al Bundy : None.

• Al Bundy : Peg, I don't want to go to my high school reunion. I just know they're gonna ask me questions that I can't answer like, "How you doing?" "How's it going?" And the ever painful "How they hangin?"

• Marcy Rhoades : [to Peggy]  Oh, that is such a beautiful dress. I just saw it on Michigan Avenue, but my husband didn't think we could afford it. See, Steve? Al doesn't mind spending $500 on his wife.

  [Al looks at Peggy in shock] 

  Al Bundy : Is that what I spent on you, pookie? Gee, I guess I really do love you. We're broke, you know that, Peg.

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, Al. What difference does it make? Another month in debtor's prison?

• Al Bundy : I don't understand. I mean, the father's the boss, isn't he? I mean, Robert Young was the boss. Fred MacMurray got some respect. Even Fred Flintstone had his day once or twice. Are you telling me I'm not the man Fred Flintstone is?

  Steve Rhoades : Well, he had a better job than you do.

• Steve Rhoades : Yeah, see? Th-Th-Th-That's what reunions are for. To laugh and point at the pitiful. You know, Al, the wretches, the failures, the people who haven't accomplished a damn thing since high school.

  [Al looks depressed] 

  Steve Rhoades : I, uh... Uh, I'm sorry, Al.

  Al Bundy : You know, Barney Rubble wasn't much, but at least he was supportive, Steve.

• Peggy Bundy : Fine, but now that you insist on going, there are going to be a few rules. First, I don't want you talking to any of your old friends, particularly that little weasel, Eli.

  Al Bundy : Hey, Eli was a good guy, Peg.

  Peggy Bundy : Ha. Good guys don't say, "Hey, Bundy, I got 20 riding on you. Lower your head and run into a brick wall."

• Peggy Bundy : Rule number two, I don't want you getting into any fights, particularly with Jack.

  Al Bundy : Jack. Yeah, I remember Jack. I don't like Jack. He had this thing about being the best. Always trying to top me. I'd make the team, he'd make the team. I set a record, he set a record. He passed a gallstone, I married you. We could never settle that tie. Jack and me split the school right down the middle. Half for him, half for me. On graduation day, we were going to fight it out in the schoolyard. Me and him, 'til one of us dropped. Well, then, something happened.

  Peggy Bundy : Yeah, I think that something was Eli betting you couldn't jump over a Mustang going 50.

  Al Bundy : I was two inches short of that, Peg! If my toe had just cleared that driver's nose, I'd have won that $10 bet... and my fight with Jack!