Married... with Children (TV Series)
Requiem for a Dead Barber (1989)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Al Bundy : [with long hair] Don't you think I want to get a haircut, Peg? Do you think I like fat guys in granny glasses asking me if I like the new Dead album? But I'm trying to make a statement here. I'm saying let's not let the barber disappear. God knows they've taken everything else away from us in the so-called name of progress. They take the pinball machines and give you video games. What do I care if a monkey can make it to the top of a building? Unless he's going up there to throw off his wife, doesn't matter to me. I want flippers. I want steel balls. And I want my barber, DAMN IT!
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Al Bundy : Look, it's all over for Louie, and, Russ, you're slipping. But we got a chance. Here's what we gotta do: We go out and find a fire hydrant, we turn that sucker on, we stick our heads in the hole, and wash the gay away.
Norris : You mean go outside, without nets?
Al Bundy : I think we better hurry. And afterwards, no matter how long it takes, we find a barber, a real barber.
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Al Bundy : Wherever Tony is, I hope they buried him face down so he never has to live to see my shame 'cause Al Bundy... is gonna get washed... and blown.
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Steve Rhoades : Al, I know you were at a funeral and all, so this might be a bad time to bring this up, but... did you happen to come into our yard in the middle of the night and steal all our roses?
Al Bundy : Steve, I've never been so insulted in my life.
Steve Rhoades : [holds up a watch] Well, then I guess this isn't your watch.
[Al checks his wrist and notices his watch missing]
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Al Bundy : Yeah, we're studs. So, what are we gonna do tonight? Put on our baby dolls, uh, drink a few beers, and give each other spankings?
Russ : How about shooting some pool?
Barney : No, no, the severity of the neon will ruin the highlights in my hair.
Al Bundy : Bowling?
Norris : Nah, we'd get beat up.
Al Bundy : Well, what... what can we do that won't put any stress on our hair?
Louie : We could go see La Cage aux Folles.
[Al and his friends stare at Louie]
Louie : It's really a fine play.
Al Bundy : You're a plumber, Louie.
Louie : I was never really comfortable as a plumber.
