- Peggy Bundy: And to think I could have had any man on the football team...
- Al Bundy: Peg, you had them all!
- [Al rushes upstairs to find out what happened to their new pet cockatoo, Tweety]
- Al Bundy: [to Peg's mom] What do you mean you thought it was a chicken? When was the last time you heard a chicken doing a Marlon Brando impression?
- Kelly Bundy: He's not Buck. Can he roll over and play dead?
- Marcy D'Arcy: Buck couldn't do that.
- Al Bundy: Till now.
- Thomas: Bundy? Bundy? Buck Bundy?
- Buck: That's me. I'm Buck Bundy.
- Thomas: I'm Thomas, your guide.
- Buck: Where exactly am I?
- Thomas: You're where animals go when they die.
- Buck: I'm in Oprah's refrigerator?
- Thomas: No, Buck. You're in the animal afterlife.
- Buck: But what are you doing here?
- Thomas: Computer error.