Married... with Children (TV Series)

Rites of Passage (1992)

Christina Applegate: Kelly Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Roxanne looks at the knife-weilding Sticky the Clown] 

  Roxanne : Gee, Kelly, your father is something dressing up like this.

  Kelly Bundy : That's not my father. My father is a shoe sales... uh... you're right. That's my father.

  Peggy Bundy : Kelly, don't lie.

  [to Roxanne] 

  Peggy Bundy : That's not my husband, Roxanne. My husband's dead.

• Kelly Bundy : I made a message for your answering machine: "Hello, this is Bud Bundy, also known as Grandmaster Virgin. You must have dialed the wrong number because no one ever calls me on purpose. But, if you leave your name and number, I'll call you back as soon as I finish putting the negligee on my dog. Please hold... Please!" I know it's a little long, but then again we don't need much room for messages, do we?

• Peggy Bundy : What happened to that nice 9-7-6 girl he had a crush on?

  Kelly Bundy : She won't take his calls any more.

• Peggy Bundy : Kelly, is this a friend of Bud's?

  Kelly Bundy : No, actually I can't find one of those. But this is Roxanne, the girl Bud loves but who can't stand him. I thought I'd do something nice for him, so I convinced her to come.

  Roxanne : He's really dying?

  Kelly Bundy : You've seen him.

• Kelly Bundy : [holding the phone]  Bud, it's for you. It's a girl. She wants to take you to a movie.

  Bud Bundy : Well, how about that, folks. Looks like you can keep your clowns and your parties and your lame memories of the sixties, or the twenties, or whenever the hell you thought you thought you were cool. You want a memory...

  [picks up his Grandmaster B cap] 

  Bud Bundy : Watch the Grandmaster operate.

  [slips his cap on backwards and picks up the phone] 

  Bud Bundy : Hey, Babe, how they hangin'?

  [his cocky manner instantly ceases when he realizes who the "girl" is on the other line] 

  Bud Bundy : Hi, Grandma.