Al Bundy, Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, John Sebastian: [singing] We are the old. We've got arthritis. Our gums are weak...
Richie Havens: So weak.
Al Bundy, Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, John Sebastian: From gingivitis.
John Sebastian: We are the old. We've got arthritis.
Al Bundy, Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, John Sebastian: We are the ones who wear bifocals and have bursitis.
Spencer Davis: There are people younger, but we heed another call.
Richie Havens: We really need the money. Our accountants took it all.
Peter Noone: We sing to you, those who have money. Once we was cool.
Al Bundy: But now we just dress funny.
John Sebastian: We need your help. So, please, please dig deep.
Richie Havens: Don't call after ten, 'cause we'll be asleep.
Robby Krieger: We have Medicare and anti-gas pills.
Mark Lindsay: But without your help, we can't pay our alimony bills.
Richie Havens: Take it, Axle!
[Al imitates a harmonica with a sandwich]
Al Bundy, Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, John Sebastian: We are the old.
Kelly Bundy, Peggy Bundy, Bud Bundy: They are the old.
Al Bundy, Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, John Sebastian: We have arthritis.
Kelly Bundy, Peggy Bundy, Bud Bundy: They have arthritis.
Al Bundy, Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, John Sebastian: Once we were gods. Now golf excites us.
Bud Bundy: Golf excites 'em!
Al Bundy, Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, John Sebastian: So write a check...
Richie Havens: A really big one!
Al Bundy, Spencer Davis, Richie Havens, Robby Krieger, Mark Lindsay, Peter Noone, John Sebastian: For our December. There's one more verse, but we can't remember.