The Mary Tyler Moore Show (TV Series)

The Critic (1977)

Ted Knight: Ted Baxter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Ted Baxter : [Ted's sitting next to Professor Karl Heller, who's about to do his first critique on the 6 O'Clock News]  And now, the distinguished professor, Karl Heller. Karl; what are you going to criticise tonight?

  Karl Heller : When I accepted the job as 'cultural watchdog,' to this metropolis, my immediate question was; 'what sort of people live here?' At first glance, this town might appear to be an enclave of be-knighted yahoos...

  Ted Baxter : Well, I couldn't agree more...

  [Ted smiles, vacuously, then gets serious-looking] 

  Ted Baxter : ... unless, of course that's bad.

  Karl Heller : I wondered; are their cultural pretensions as vacant as their smiles? Is this really the heart, of what Mencken called the 'booboisie'?

  Lou Grant : [Watching with Murray and Mary in the newsroom]  He just called our entire audience 'boobs, and 'yahoos.'

  Mary Richards : May-maybe that was just a teaser. May, maybe he was kidding

  Karl Heller : It is said that a people get the culture they deserve. In the night's to come,we shall try to find out exactly why no first-rate art has ever been created in this vacant - but intellectually famished - arid - and sterile city.

  Ted Baxter : [Ted, who's been staring at Karl, unfolds his arms and turns to the camera, and clears his throat]  This is, uh... Ted Baxter

  [nervously smiling] 

  Ted Baxter : saying 'good night,' from Phoenix, Arizona.

• Ted Baxter : [Ted reporting a story]  Miss LaRue later explained her costume to vice squad officers by explaining she was an unemployed lion-tamer.

• Ted Baxter : [the 6 O'Clock News has just ended, and Ted walks out of the studio - angrily, with Karl]  'Bumbling'? Do you think that's a nice thing to say about anybody? 'Bumbling'?

  [In his 'deep-voice'] 

  Ted Baxter : My mother watches this show!

• Ted Baxter : [Murray's just introduced Ted to the professor]  Professor, I understand your aces in the 'brain-game.'

  Karl Heller : [Looks confused]  Of who is this person doing a parody?

  [Sue Ann laughs] 

  Ted Baxter : [Arms folded in 'seriousness']  We had a couple of egg-heads in my family. But, I'm the one that became rich and famous, funny, isn't it?

  Karl Heller : No, not really. One never goes broke underestimating the public's taste.

  Ted Baxter : [Acting like he understands - but doesn't, he smiles]  A-ha, ha, ha

  [Ted still smiling, turns away, and looks serious, and skulks away] 

• Ted Baxter : Tonight, our critic-at-large turns his attention to the TV scene. Karl.

  Murray Slaughter : [Mary and Murray in the newsroom, watching on Murray's TV]  Well, I wonder who Jack-The-Ripper will attack tonight.

  Karl Heller : I think it is only fair that we apply the same critical standards to television that we do to anything else.

  Ted Baxter : Very sound thinking.

  Karl Heller : [Without looking at Ted]  Thank you.I think our first task out to be to putter own house in order.

  Ted Baxter : Call them the way you see them, Karl. Let the' chiperinos' fall where they may.

  [Smiles] 

  Karl Heller : What you're watching at this very moment is a classic example of what's wrong with television in this town.

  [Though Ted's smiling at Karl, he has no clue what Karl meant] 

  Karl Heller : It is the pursuit of personality at the expense of competence.

  Ted Baxter : [All serious-faced]  I'm not sure I understand.

  Karl Heller : [Not even looking at Ted]  I'm sure you don't.

  [Ted nervously looks off-camera] 

  Karl Heller : Let's face I; WJM is the biggest offender in that regard. From the dowdy frumpy of The Happy Homemaker Show, to the bumbling, foot-in-the-mouth delivery of a certain anchorman

  [Ted -utterly confused - slowly tuns his gaze off-camera to see if anyone knows what Karl's talking about] 

  Karl Heller : And backing them up, right down the line

  [Murray shakes his head, as Mary looks on in disbelief] 

  Karl Heller : are dull writing, inept staging, and high school production methods.

  [Murray looks mad, and Mary looks mad, as well] 

  Karl Heller : Well, there you are; the emperor has no clothes

  [Ted looks too see if he's wearing clothes, then again, looks off-camera, confused] 

  Karl Heller : Tomorrow, we shall look at some other stations in town, and see if they fair any better. Meanwhile this is Karl Heller saying; let the viewer beware.

  Mary Richards : [Murray turns the TV off]  'High school production methods?'

  Murray Slaughter : 'Dull writing.' Buy, he didn't miss anybody, did he?

  Lou Grant : [Lou's door opens, and he slams his door, and walks to Murray]  Murray; be a good guy, and go buy me a gun.

  [Lou pulls out a wad of cash, and hands it to Murray]