- Bart Maverick: My old Pappy used to say, "Son, love, and love alone will send a man soaring into the depths."
- Cornelius Van Rennselaer Jr.: Hey, wait a minute, Bart, we made a deal.
- Bart Maverick: You didn't tell me it was gonna be so dangerous.
- Cornelius Van Rennselaer Jr.: You a coward?
- Bart Maverick: Isn't everybody?
- [first lines]
- [Bart is attacked by a man and overcomes him]
- Bart Maverick: Wanna try again?
- Cornelius Van Rennselaer Jr.: I merely hoped to prevent you from stabbing my pachycereus.
- Bart Maverick: Your what?
- Cornelius Van Rennselaer Jr.: The cactus. She's female and very delicate.
- Bart Maverick: I'm sorry, I was so thirsty, I, uh, I didn't even notice the sex.
- [last lines]
- [Bart, who the conductor thinks is Van Renneselaer, is kissing Abigail]
- Conductor: Uh, excuse me, Mr. Van Renneselaer, it's noon. You're free to go.
- Bart Maverick: I'm in no hurry.
- Conductor: Well, then, if you don't mind, I'll run along and pick up my bonus money. Uh, remember me to your father.
- Bart Maverick: I will.
- Conductor: I just want to say, that you've been very cooperative and thank ya.
- Bart Maverick: You're most welcome.
- Col. Hamilton: Why, it'd be a pleasure, my boy. I venture to say a check with the name "Van Rensselaer" on it's good anywhere in the world.
- Bart Maverick: Well, a lot depends on the handwriting, Colonel.
- Col. Hamilton: You're a great jokester, my boy. Just like your dad.
- Bart Maverick: I left a poker game in Santa Fe. in sort of a hurry. It seems that some players just never learn to lose gracefully.