- [Maverick feeds the starving hunting party raw rattlesnake meat]
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: I don't like it.
- Bret Maverick: I don't suppose you've ever been in the Army. The first thing we were taught, you're not required to like it, you're just required to eat it.
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: Are you truly a professional gambler, Bret?
- Bret Maverick: Lady Ellen, I'm not a professional anything. I'm too lazy.
- [last lines]
- Bret Maverick: Lord Belcastle, old boy?
- Norbert Belcastle: Ready when you are, Bret.
- Albert Belcastle: You're the leader, you know.
- Bret Maverick: When you're talking to a Marquis, what do you call him?
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: Most people say, "Lord Belcastle" or "Milord."
- Bret Maverick: I guess I'd better call him Lord Belcastle. The other sounds like swearing.
- Bret Maverick: One other thing. How do I call a Lady?
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: You ring the little bell beside your bed.
- Norbert Belcastle: I say, Maybrill...
- Bret Maverick: Maverick.
- Norbert Belcastle: What what?
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: His name's not Maybrill, Father, it's Maverick.
- Norbert Belcastle: Tosh! There's no such name as Maverick. What would it mean?
- Bret Maverick: Well, back home in Texas, a maverick is a calf that's lost its mother and his father has run off with another cow.
- Norbert Belcastle: A foundling.
- Bret Maverick: No, it's just a lostling.
- Norbert Belcastle: Benson was telling me you seemed quite perturbed by the loss of your old shirt, as if there'd been money in it.
- Bret Maverick: There was. A thousand dollar bill.
- Norbert Belcastle: Heavens, man, that's two hundred quid!
- Albert Belcastle: Isn't that a rather large bank note to be lug about loose in one's pocket?
- Bret Maverick: I kept it pinned.
- Albert Belcastle: That makes all the difference.
- Bret Maverick: My father insisted on it. He said my brother and I were so shiftless that if we didn't carry at least a thousand dollars, we'd starve to death.
- Norbert Belcastle: And now that you have it no longer?
- Bret Maverick: I guess I starve.
- Bret Maverick: Belcastle, you're the first man I've ever seen who tried to draw three cards to fill a straight.
- Albert Belcastle: You know something, Maverick?
- Bret Maverick: What's that?
- Albert Belcastle: The last person to depose a Belcastle was King Harald Hairfoot... 1039.
- Bret Maverick: He got tired of arguing, huh?
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: There's a look in Father's eye. I suspect he's going to invite you to come back with us to England.
- Bret Maverick: Do you think I should go?
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: England's a wonderful place... for the English.
- Bret Maverick: Yeah. Now, if you were going some place where it was more civilized, like, say, Denver.
- [first lines]
- Norbert Belcastle: Haven't the foggiest who the chap could be.
- Albert Belcastle: It's rather obvious he's a gentleman. Those hands have never been used for work.
- [making introductions]
- Albert Belcastle: Permit me. My niece, Lady Ellen Belcastle. My brother, Norbert, Marquis of Belcastle, Viscount Darrow, Baron of Lessingham-Burnie and fellow of the Royal Historical Society. One handshake will do nicely for all of them. I'm merely Alfred Belcastle.
- Bret Maverick: My name is Bret Maverick. What are you a fellow of?
- Albert Belcastle: Of infinite jest.
- Bret Maverick: Uh, what's a Marquis?
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: A Marquis is something between a Duke and an Earl. Technically, it's a royal officer guarding the border regions or marches.
- Bret Maverick: Like Wyoming?
- Lady Ellen Belcastle: I say, Maverick, my horse seems to have picked up a pebble.
- Bret Maverick: If he can do that, maybe you can teach him to juggle.
- Bret Maverick: Lord Belcastle, it comes down to this. I'd like to have a horse and a saddle and a grubstake, but on my income, which is twelve dollars a month, they're luxuries I just can't afford.
- Norbert Belcastle: Mustn't take the short view, Maybrook. It's merely a matter of sticking it through.
- Bret Maverick: Well, I've stuck it through wars and fence floors and prison camps and cattle drives. I've fought Yankees and Indians and grizzly bears and prize fighters, but there's just one thing I just can't fight. The fact that I just wasn't cut out to be a cowboy.
- Norbert Belcastle: I dare say, you know more about it than I, but... grizzly bear? Ursus horribilis? Are you a huntsman?
- Bret Maverick: Well, I've shot more of them than they have of me.
- Norbert Belcastle: One more day and we shall reach the highlands.
- Albert Belcastle: And I forgot to bring my kilts.
- Bret Maverick: As my pappy used to say, it'd be a pitiful thing if I ever tried to work for a living. "Son," he said, "use your wits, 'cause the Lord didn't give you brains."
- Albert Belcastle: You still think Norbert's ill-advised, do you?
- Bret Maverick: Oh, he's well-advised, he's just too stupid to listen.
- Albert Belcastle: Before we go, Norbert, I've never said any of this before, but I think the occasion has come for it. It's never seemed really logical to me. A man has to study to be a Lieutenant General or a chimney sweep, but anyone can be a Duke or a Marquis simply by being born in the right bed.
- Norbert Belcastle: That's hardly an original observation, Albert, but it is profound. Why don't you write a letter to the Times?