- Chris Coughlin: Sam, you never walk out on a waiter in New York.
- Sam McCloud: Just order for me, will ya, please?
- [leaves]
- Chris Coughlin: [angry] Eh... he'll have an order of Mexican jumping beans and a glass of prune juice, please.
- Sgt. Joe Broadhurst: You know, I still don't know how it happened. Yesterday I was celebrating my eighth anniversary. I was happy, I had a future, I was gonna sleep with my wife... today, I'm out of a job, I'm harboring a fugitive from justice, I sleep on the floor and I can't even get a ham sandwich!
- Sgt. Joe Broadhurst: Now if they spot you, you gotta promise to surrender on the spot. I don't want any bullet holes in that overcoat, it's my best.
- Sam McCloud: I appreciate your concern, Joe.
- Sgt. Joe Broadhurst: Either you tell me, or you tell Chief Clifford, because right now, m-my neck is so stretched out I, I look like a giraffe.
- Chris Coughlin: So, you're just gonna have to solve this burglary business tonight, Sam, otherwize it complicates everything.
- Sam McCloud: Hm.
- Chris Coughlin: In fact, I insist on it.
- Sam McCloud: Well, I guess I'll just have to oblige the lady.
- Chris Coughlin: There you go.
- Sam McCloud: Grover 'n me, we're just as good a friends as fleas on a two-dollar dog.
- Sam McCloud: [quietly] That's what you think...
- Peter B. Clifford: [intercom buzzes] Yeah?
- Secretary: The Federal Officer, Mr. Edmunds is on the phone.
- Peter B. Clifford: Tell him I'm in conference, tell him I've gone home. Tell him I'm dead. Tell him anything.