Andy Clyde: Andrew C. Cooley

Quotes 

• Michael Anthony : [At the door of Cooley's hotel room]  Mr. Andrew C. Cooley?

  Andrew C. Cooley : Oh, no! Black, huh?

  Michael Anthony : I beg your pardon?

  Andrew C. Cooley : Black! You're the varmint that told me black. You're the polecat that cost me my fortune.

  Michael Anthony : [Slipping into the room and closing the door]  Well, I'm terribly sorry. Perhaps I can make it up to you

  Andrew C. Cooley : Now let me tell you, sonny. The next time somebody makes the mistake of asking you a question and you don't know the answer, keep your mouth shut!

  Michael Anthony : But I didn't know, Mr. Cooley...

  Andrew C. Cooley : What were you thinking about?

  Michael Anthony : I didn't know...

  Andrew C. Cooley : There you go, stuttering again.

  Michael Anthony : Mr. Cooley, if you would permit me to answer one sentence, perhaps I wouldn't appear to stutter.

  Andrew C. Cooley : Can't you see I'm busy, sonny?

  [Starts to undue his bedroll] 

  Michael Anthony : So am I!

  [Opens his briefcase and removes a check] 

  Michael Anthony : As I said, my name is Michael Anthony. I have a gift for you. It's from an anonymous donor. I have a cashier's check for $1,000,000.

  Andrew C. Cooley : [Looks at check]  It's got my name - Andrew C. Cooley.

  [to Anthony] 

  Andrew C. Cooley : Glad to know you, sonny. Glad to know you! You were saying something?

  Michael Anthony : I have a cashier's check in the amount of $1,000,000 made out to you.

  Andrew C. Cooley : Sonny, you ain't foolin' me?

  Michael Anthony : No, and it's tax-free.

  Andrew C. Cooley : Keep talking. Keep Talking.

  Michael Anthony : Thank you.

  [Removes document from briefcase] 

  Michael Anthony : Now, if you will just sign this paper, agreeing to tell no one the amount or the circumstances under which you received it. You may tell your wife.

  Andrew C. Cooley : I'm not married. Of course, I've got to tell Clara. Clara is my jackass.

  Michael Anthony : [Chuckles]  Oh, Mr. Cooley, this agreement does not refer to animals, only people. Now, if you'll sign here, the check is yours and I'll be on my way.

  [Cooley signs] 

  Michael Anthony : Thank you, Mr. Cooley.

  [Returns agreement to briefcase] 

  Michael Anthony : I hope you'll forgive me for 'black.'

  Andrew C. Cooley : Black.

  [laughs] 

  Andrew C. Cooley : Say, what did you say your name was?

  Michael Anthony : Michael Anthony.

  Andrew C. Cooley : Anthony, yes.

  [Turns serious] 

  Andrew C. Cooley : Well, let me tell you something, sonny. For forty years, I dug into the hillside hoping to make it and I finally thought I did make it. Then, wham, I'm flat broke. Just wish I knew a proper way to thank you.

  Michael Anthony : You just have, sir. Good luck, Mr. Cooley.