Pat Conway: William Courtney

Quotes 

• Michael Anthony : [Anthony has traveled to a ramshackle old English castle to meet William Courtney]  William Courtney?

  William Courtney : Yeah?

  Michael Anthony : My name is Michael Anthony.

  William Courtney : ****

  [Courtney is sitting in his drafty castle with his feet in a bucket of hot water. He is trying to keep warm] 

  William Courtney : Well, take off your shoes and join me, Mr. Anthony. The only way you're gonna get warm around here.

  Michael Anthony : Well, my business here shouldn't take more than a few minutes.

  [Opening his briefcase] 

  Michael Anthony : I have something to give you.

  William Courtney : ****Ah, no no, no. No thank you. The last time somebody gave me something, it was a castle. So no gifts, thank you.

  Michael Anthony : ****The gift I have for you

  [Displaying a check] 

  Michael Anthony : is a cashier's check for $1,000,000, tax-free.

  William Courtney : ****

  [Ignoring the check as he stokes the fireplace] 

  William Courtney : Gifts. Somebody gives me a castle, turns out to be a shambles. I finally find a girl I can fall in love with, and she gives me the air. Now you want to give me a...

  [It dawns on him] 

  William Courtney : a million bucks?

  Michael Anthony : ****

  [Still holding out the check] 

  Michael Anthony : Tax-free, and a cashier's check.

  William Courtney : ****Well... is it from the estate? Oh no, no, it couldn't be, the estate's broke.

  Michael Anthony : ****This million dollars is a gift from my employer, who must remain anonymous.

  William Courtney : ****

  [Accepts the check] 

  William Courtney : A million dollars. What's the catch?

  Michael Anthony : ****None at all, Sir William, except that you sign must this document agreeing never to divulge the source or the amount of the gift, to any other person. Should you do so, you forfeit whatever is left of the million dollars.

  William Courtney : ****That's all I have to do? Just never tell anybody where I got the money?

  Michael Anthony : Except your wife, if you marry.

  William Courtney : If I marry.

  [Signs the agreement] 

  Michael Anthony : [Placing the document back into his briefcase and preparing to leave]  Thank you.

  William Courtney : Mr. Anthony, I just don't how to... don't know how to say... "Thanks".

  Michael Anthony : Oh, you're welcome.

  [as Anthony walks to the recepti;on area, Courtney sneezes] 

  Michael Anthony : Gesundheit, Sir William.

  William Courtney : [Courtney walks briskly towards the reception area and sees Anthony approaching the front door]  Hey, thanks. Thanks again, Mr. Anthony.

  [Anthony exits]