The Monkees (TV Series)

Captain Crocodile (1967)

Michael Nesmith: Mike

Photos 

Quotes 

• Micky : Man, we are on the road to suc-cess!

  Mike : We're almost at the top of the heights!

  Davy : We're nearly at the top of the heap!

  Peter : It's all downhill from here!

• Mike : [reading hate-mail from viewers]  Arrogant ego-maniacs?

  Micky : Long haired weirdoes?

  Davy : Loathsome teenagers?

  Peter : Delightful and well bred.

  Junior Pinter : Who wrote that?

  Peter : My mother.

• Junior Pinter : You think I'm short?

  Mike : Eh, well, no, where did you get that idea?

  Junior Pinter : From the people who are taller than me.

  Davy : You know, I think he's quite tall, meself.

  Micky : You would.

• Mike : [to Captain Crocodile]  Listen, either you let us play, or we quit!

• Mike : [Having just performed Valleri]  Well, that was it, how did it go, how did it go, how did it go?

  Stage Manager : How did what go? We've been off the air for five minutes.

• Mike : [parodying The Huntley-Brinkley Report]  Good evening, this is Chett Hinkley.

  Micky : And David Brentley.

  Peter : And Brett Chinkley.

  Davy : And Chuck Hankley.

  Mike : And this is Dave Barkley.

  Micky : And Chuck Weekley.

  Micky : And Charler Walltight.

  Davy : And Hank Chuckley.

  Mike : And this is John Smith.

  Micky : And... John Smith?

• Mike : Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I'm Mike Nesmith. And on my left is the delightful and charming personality, David Jones

  Davy : Thank you, Mike.

  Mike : No sweat.

  Peter : And on my left, is the charming and delightful Peter Tork.

  Peter : Thank you, David. And on my charming and delightful, is the left moderator, Micky Dolenz.

  Micky : Thank you, my charming panel.

• Frog-man : [in the middle of a fistfight]  Don't you think we have to ruin some furniture?

  Dastardly Villain : Oh, you mean chairs and stuff?

  Frog-man : Yeah.

  Dastardly Villain : Oh, okay, sure.

• Mike : [Disguised as a kindly little old building janitor]  Hello, I'm the kindly little old building janitor. And I just wanted to tell you that I've got twelve grandchildren at home and they all watch the show, just because the Monkees is on.

  Captain Crocodile : This is ridiculous!

  J.J. Pontoon : Eh, eh, let the man speak. Now, before The Monkees appeared, did your grandchildren ever watch the show?

  Mike : Oh, no, no. I'd seen it once, I remember seeing it well, I watched it for about five minutes and then I thought to myself: why am I sitting here watching this show when I could be out, cleaning garbage cans?

• Micky : [pretending to read a story from a dictionary]  Once upon a time in the land of Kirshner, there was a, a handsome prince in love with a frog and three little pigs. And he didn't know how he would get through the forest, 'cause the wicked grandmother had given him a poisoned apple. So, he was walking through the forest, and eh, with goodies, in a, in a basket, and eh...

  Mike : [Mike takes over the dictionary]  And he came, he came across the wicked stepladder. Who eh, who was, eh, pretty, eh, tall, because of all the prongs, and she said, eh, you rang? And he said: sure the runs... because he had this basket of goodies and oooh.

  Davy : [hands the dictionary to Davy]  He had the basket of goodies and, eh started walking towards the little Snow White's little house where the, where the six, eh, midgets lived...

  Micky : Seven!

  Davy : With the four frogs. Seven midgets with the four frogs and the toadstools were beginning to, to look bad, because eh, Columbus was eh...

  Peter : [Peter takes over the dictionary]  Eh, eh, eh. Commando: Allied troop in unit in who-who-two.