The Monkees (TV Series)
Fairy Tale (1968)
Peter Tork: Peter
Photos
Quotes
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Fairy Of The Locket : Eh, you, you shall cut a pair of shoes that can scale high walls.
Mike the Cobbler : A shoes that will sc- that will scale...
Fairy Of The Locket : You, you shall sow me a set of mail that nothing can penetrate
Davy the Taylor : I'll sew a sote, a send you a suit, in the mail, right.
Fairy Of The Locket : Yeah. and you, you shall forge a kitchen knife into a sword that can cut through iron.
Micky the Innkeeper : Richt, forge, yeah right! Heheh.
Peter, peasant of Tork : What about me?
Fairy Of The Locket : You shall collect unemployment while your friends are working.
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Peter : Oh fair Princess. I have loved you from afar lo these many moons. May I carry you across the mud?
Mike : [as Princess] You carry me across the mud? Ha Ha. I'm a princess. You're nothing but a lonely little peasant, a wayward serf, the lowest of the low.
Peter : So you've heard of me.
Mike : I will honor your spine with a walk across it. Down peasant.
Peter : My spine thanks you.
Mike : Down
[she steps on back and crosses]
Peter : There's a 50 cent toll at the other end.
Mike : Shut up or I'll have you paved.
Peter : Except for royal traffic, of course.
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Peter, peasant of Tork : [Princess Gwen throws Peter a locket] What's this?
Princess Gwen : It's junk!
Peter, peasant of Tork : I don't deserve it!
Princess Gwen : Yes, I'm hip, but wear it anyway, it looks good on you.
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Peter, peasant of Tork : Micky! Davy! Peter, eh, Mike!
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Davy the Taylor : [during the climactic fight] Can you fight too, I'm doing all the fighting here!
The Town Crier : [cut to the Town Cryer] Hooray for Davy!
Micky the Innkeeper : [back to the fight] Peter, Peter, what about the locket?
The Town Crier : [cut to the Town Cryer] Hooray for Micky!
Peter, peasant of Tork : [back to the fight] She made me give it back!
Princess Gwen : You're darn right I took it back, it's my locket!
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The Town Crier : Once upon a time in the little village of Avon-On-Calling there were four young men. There was Mike...
Mike the Cobbler : Hi, I'm Mike and I'm the cobbler, ha!
The Town Crier : And Davy...
Davy the Taylor : Hi, I'm Davy and I'm the taylor, aha!
The Town Crier : And Micky...
Micky the Innkeeper : Hi, I'm Micky, and I'm the innkeeper.
The Town Crier : And Peter.
Peter, peasant of Tork : Hi, I'm Peter, and I'm out of work.
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Princess Gwen : Well, If you don't get me out of this filthy little village in... ten minutes, I'm not gonna marry you. What do you think of that?
Harold : Oh wow, what a bummer!
Princess Gwen : Open the door, creep!
Peter, peasant of Tork : A Romeo and Juliet, they're not.
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Peter, peasant of Tork : Any more of this, and I'm gonna get another Princess to worship...
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Peter, peasant of Tork : And he's gonna murder her in the tower, a remote castle protected by a scary forrest and a moat, moat, and a im-p-enetrable dragon.
Davy the Taylor : A what kind of dragon?
Peter, peasant of Tork : An im-p-enetrable dragon.
Davy the Taylor : So what are you gonna do, Peter?
Peter, peasant of Tork : I'm gonna miss her when she's gone.
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Fairy Of The Locket : Who called the Fairy of the Locket?
Peter, peasant of Tork : Locket?
[stuttering]
Peter, peasant of Tork : Well, I guess I did.
Fairy Of The Locket : Well, call back later. I was having my hair done. Bye!
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Peter, peasant of Tork : Why do I have to go into the scary forest and face the dragon and safe the Princess? I don't even like her anymore!
Mike the Cobbler : Don't even like her? Man, that's the grooviest looking chick I ever saw!
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Peter, peasant of Tork : Who are you?
Little Red Riding Hood : Oh, ah, I'm Little Red Riding Hood and I'm gonna see my grandmother in the forest.
Peter, peasant of Tork : Oh no, you can't go, the wolf's all ready been to your grandmothers and he's eaten her up and he's waiting to do the same thing to you!
Little Red Riding Hood : Sure kid, and the cow jumped over the moon, heheh.
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Dragon of the Moat : Roar! Roar! I'm the dragon of the moat. Roar!
Peter, peasant of Tork : I'm not afraid of you, I have a magic sword!
Dragon of the Moat : Oh, for goodness sake, put that thing away. I've had enough of violence in my life, I'm sick of it!
Peter, peasant of Tork : Oh, well, huh, that's refreshing.
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Dragon of the Moat : Listen, I'll just ask you a riddle. If you can answer it, I'll lower the drawbridge.
Peter, peasant of Tork : I'm not very good at riddles.
Dragon of the Moat : Are you better at getting eaten?
[Peter shakes his head]
Dragon of the Moat : Hahaha! What has two ears, two eyes and a very short life?
Peter, peasant of Tork : I don't know.
Dragon of the Moat : That's close enough. Lower the drawbridge!
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Peter, peasant of Tork : My swords, stuck, give me the locket!
Princess Gwen : You're gonna fight them with a magic locket? You might as well do a dance to spring. Nosirree bob, baby, the locket stays with me.
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Peter : Princess?
Princess Gwen : Yes?
Peter : Princess, will you marry me?
Princess Gwen : No, I won't marry you!
Peter : You won't marry me?
Princess Gwen : Of course not, man!
Peter : [Princess Gwen is taking off her wig] Why won't you marry-Michael!
Mike : Yeah, I'm already married, man. You know, Phyllis and Christian and my little kids.
