- Peter: This is incredible. I feel as if I though I were being compelled to move by a chant from the transcendental meditations of an Indian Mystic.
- Micky: [disembodied voice] No Peter, it's a chant I got with a cereal box-top.
- Peter: Oh.
- Micky: [cut to Micky and Mike in Eastern garb] Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo, it's working, it's working...
- Mike: How do you know, how do you know?
- Micky: I saw the last scene... I saw the last scene...
- Mike: You're telling me it was unbelievable. You think that was something, you ought to see what happens after the commercial.
- Davy: [Micky, Mike and Davy cram into a telephone booth to change into Monkeemen] Hold it!
- Micky: What, what?
- Davy: Look at that:
- Mike: What do you mean, hold it?
- Davy: [starts to read a sign] Federal Law W443 paragraph 7 prohibits the use of any public phonebooth for the purpose of changing into or out of secret identities.
- Micky: [gasps] But if we don't change into our secret identities, the entire television audience is doomed!
- Davy: Hey, look, look, it's the Heat!
- [Telephone Co. van drives by]
- Wizard Glick: My maniacally warped plan is almost complete! At last! And soon it will be Twelve O'Clock! Heh... heh, could you die? And they will! And then I will pull the Main Power Switch... which will activate the Magentic Freeble Energizer... which will release the incredible power of The Frodis! And with aid of villainous henchmen, I will control the minds of millions!
- Wizard Glick: Now what is it? My goodness.
- Henchman: Well, It's the Monkeemen monitor. It ain't been activated for years.
- Wizard Glick: Those incredible swine!
- Henchman: Not swine, Monkees.
- Micky: [reading from the Monkeemen manual] To dispose of a two-headed Org, jump up and down three times, roll a head of cabbage and giggle.
- Mike: Hey, wait a minute, guys, you know what? It's seven thirty, six thirty central time. It's time for The Monkees. I wonder if anybody around here has got a television set?
- Wizard Glick: I don't wanna fight anymore
- [laughs]
- Wizard Glick: I just wanna lay down on the grass and be cool.
- Wizard Glick: [schrieking with laughter] I'll press the Freeble Energizer button there.
- [another shriek]
- Wizard Glick: It's working, it's working!
- Cop: Hey, it's eight thirty, seven thirty central. Time for Dragnet. Anybody got a TV set around here?