The Monkees (TV Series)

Monkee vs. Machine (1966)

Michael Nesmith: Mike

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mike : All you gotta do is stay very cool. And remember these three little words: Don't argue.

  Peter : That's two words.

  Mike : You're starting already.

• Mike : Look, man, it's okay. Besides, you've go something the machine don't have. You've got friends.

  Micky : Hey, you've got some friends, Pete? Bring 'em over someday!

• [Mike exacts revenge on the DJ-61 interviewing computer:] 

  DJ-69 : What is your name?

  Mike : [rushing the machine]  Nesmith! What's yours?

  DJ-69 : What?

  Mike : Thank you, Mr. What. And what's your first name?

  DJ-69 : It's not 'What'.

  Mike : Mr. Notwhat What. And what is your occupation?

  DJ-69 : Name is not 'Notwhat'! I am computer DJ-61!

  Mike : Oh, you're a DJ! Look, I'll bet you've got a great record collection.

  [computer starts to overload] 

  Mike : Now tell me about your mother and father.

  DJ-69 : My mother was a duplicating machine...

  Mike : Sex?

  [smoke and disturbing noises issue from DJ-61] 

  Mike : Oh, I'll bet you're a real swinger when you're turned on.

  [low groan] 

  Mike : Dirty old man...

  DJ-69 : Wait! I am not programmed for these questions!

  Mike : Oh, you want a different program? Well, let - Okay, um...

  [starts stabbing buttons at random. DJ-61 crashes amid smoke, flying punched cards, and a shower of sparks] 

• Micky : A Toy Factory, needs unskilled help, in non essential job requiring no experience and no training.

  Mike : Hey Peter, you don't have any training, and you sure don't have any experience. You're the only one qualified.

  Micky : Probably the only one in the city with those qualifications. At least the only one that can read the ad.

  Peter : Just think, they put an ad in the paper to reach me.

  Mike : That's right.

  Peter : Why didn't they phone?

• Daggart : Harper. Used to design all our toys. Totally useless. I'd fire him like that, but J.B. promised him his job for life. What are you going to do?

  Mike : Wow, you're all heart.