- Micky: [a young woman walks on to the set in the middle of a shootout] The producers thought we should have a pretty girl in the show.
- Red O'Leary: Fuselli, you're a two timin', double crossin', cigar smokin' rat!
- Fuselli: Watch what you're saying, Red. I don't smoke cigars!
- Micky: He got you there, Red!
- Micky: Man, we gotta stop the shooting or we're gonna get killed!
- [Climbes out from under the table]
- Micky: Hold it, hold it! Come on.
- [a pretty brunette in a fur coat walks into frame and opens her coat for the camera to reveal a bare midriff]
- Micky: The director thought we should have a pretty girl on the show. Thanks, sweetheart.
- [a hulking mobster has all four of the boys at gunpoint]
- Davy: You're pretty tough with that gun in your hand!
- Rocco: Oh, yeah?
- [he puts away the gun, and then punches Davy, which sends all four Monkees sprawling like tenpins]
- Davy: [just before passing out] Ow... You're pretty tough with that fist in your hand...
- Fuselli: For reasons of self protection, none of us has ever met before, so eh, introduce yourself
- Red O'Leary: Red O'Leary, Bankrobbery and protection
- Big Flora: Big Flora, fraud and extortion
- Paddy The Fix: Paddy the Fix, drugs and, ehm, diamond smuggler.
- Benny The Book: I'm a b-b-b-b-Benny the Book and b-b-b-book making and numbers
- [laughs]
- Peter: Peter Tork, guitar and base trombone.