- Davy: [reading a newspaper] Hey fellas, yeah, it's her. It says she's staying at the "Rich Swank Hotel."
- Micky: The 309: fit for a king. It captures your ruthless ambition, your cruel determination. This throne is designed for men who dare to be called tyrants. We call it: "The Usurper."
- Voice on telephone: Hello?
- Sigmund: Hello. The streetcar is going up the hill.
- Voice on telephone: The fox has stolen a chicken.
- Sigmund: The onions ripen in the spring.
- Voice on telephone: Especially when it is raining.
- [pause]
- Voice on telephone: Hello?
- Sigmund: Especially when it's raining? What number is this, please?
- Voice on telephone: KLondike 5-8618.
- Sigmund: Ooh. I must have dialed wrong number. Sorry!
- Interviewer: Monkees, Monkees, uh, the show is over but we got one problem: we're one minute short.
- Micky: Uh, hi there, America.
- Interviewer: Mike, what did you think of the show you just did?
- Mike: I thought it was one minute short.
- Interviewer: Wait, listen to me, all of you, what I want to know is one thing, seriously now.
- Davy: That's two things.
- Archduke Otto: [chastising Sigmund for his latest blunder] If you were working for my enemies, I'd rule all of Europe!