Monty Python's Flying Circus (TV Series)

Michael Ellis (1974)

Eric Idle: Chris Quinn, John Keats

Photos 

Quotes 

• First Store Assistant : I think you would remember him, sir.

  Customer : Why do you say that?

  First Store Assistant : Well, would you remember a man 6 foot 9 inches high, 40ish, and he's got a scar from here to here, and absolutely no nose?

  Customer : Oh... I think I do remember somebody like that.

  First Store Assistant : Ah well, that's not Michael Ellis.

• Customer : What do you feed them on?

  Second Store Assistant : Blancmange.

  Customer : Blancmange?

  Second Store Assistant : I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that. Ah no, you don't feed them at all.

  Customer : What do they live on?

  Second Store Assistant : They don't, they die.

  Customer : They die?

  Second Store Assistant : Of course they do, if you don't feed them.

• Second Store Assistant : So sir that is, if I may say so, 184 pounds 1 and a half p, sir.

  Customer : Oh, will you take a check?

  Second Store Assistant : Ah yes sir, if you don't mind leaving a blood sample, and uh, a piece of skin off the back of the scalp, just here sir. Sorry it's just for identification, you know, can't be too careful.

  Customer : I think I'll put it on account.

  Second Store Assistant : I should think so, much less painful.