Mother and Son (TV Series)
The Accident (1986)
Garry McDonald: Arthur Beare
Photos
Quotes
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Maggie Beare : Well, well, well.
Arthur Beare : It's alright mum. Nothing to worry about.
Maggie Beare : This is a surprise.
Arthur Beare : [to Barsha] Just over on the couch will do.
Maggie Beare : I say, Arthur... Aren't you going to introduce me?
Arthur Beare : Introduce?
Maggie Beare : Yes. Come on.
Arthur Beare : This is my mother.
Maggie Beare : Yes, I'm his mother. Don't pay any attention to him, he forgets himself sometimes. And you are?
Taxi Driver Barsha : Barsha.
Maggie Beare : What is it?
Taxi Driver Barsha : Barsha.
Maggie Beare : That can't be right.
Arthur Beare : It's Barsha, mum. Barsha.
Maggie Beare : Alright, alright. I'm sure it's a very pretty name, when you say it nicely.
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Maggie Beare : [pointing to a saucepan] What's that doing there?
Arthur Beare : You put it there.
Maggie Beare : Oh, yes-yes. That's the Whats-her-name.
Arthur Beare : Oh, the Whats-her-name, is it?
Maggie Beare : Well, it's not a proper Whats-her-name. We haven't got a proper Whats-her-name anymore, so you'll have to make do with that, as best you can.
Arthur Beare : Do what with it?
Maggie Beare : You know, when nature calls.
Arthur Beare : Nature already has called.
Maggie Beare : What did you do?
Arthur Beare : I went to the bathroom.
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Arthur Beare : I don't think I can stand this much longer.
Maggie Beare : Is it the pain?
Arthur Beare : It's you!
Maggie Beare : No, don't you worry about me. I won't rest until I get you back on your feet.
Arthur Beare : Well that's easy.
[stands]
Maggie Beare : Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit!
[Arthur sits]
Maggie Beare : Good boy.
Arthur Beare : Do I get a bone?
Maggie Beare : Now, you just be a good boy and let me look after you.
Arthur Beare : You can't look after me.
Maggie Beare : Fiddle-dee-dee.
Arthur Beare : You can't even look after yourself anymore.
Maggie Beare : Now, come on. Nurse knows best.
Arthur Beare : You're not a nurse. You haven't been a nurse for forty years.
Maggie Beare : That doesn't matter, I'm still the mummy.
Arthur Beare : You're a senile old fool!
Maggie Beare : This is worse than I thought.
Arthur Beare : I'm sorry.
Maggie Beare : You're delirious.
Arthur Beare : I'm not delirious.
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Maggie Beare : I'll get the sponge.
Arthur Beare : No, maybe it's about time we face this. Maybe you should see someone.
Maggie Beare : No, no, no visitors. You're sick.
Arthur Beare : You need help, mum.
Maggie Beare : Not just to give you a little sponge bath.
Arthur Beare : I don't want a sponge bath. All I want is a sandwich, but you're not even able to do that.
Maggie Beare : Alright, I suppose the sponge bath can wait.
Arthur Beare : Where are you going?
Maggie Beare : To get you a sandwich.
Arthur Beare : You don't have to go out, you can make one here.
Maggie Beare : No. No bread.
Arthur Beare : There's plenty of bread in the freezer.
Maggie Beare : No, I threw it out. Hard as a rock. Now I'll be back in a minute. What sort did you want?
Arthur Beare : I don't care.
Maggie Beare : But I care. I want to get this right.
Arthur Beare : Roast beef, cheese and chutney.
Maggie Beare : Roast beef, cheese and chutney. Roast beef, cheese and chutney. Righto, I'll be back in a whats-her-name. Roast beef, cheese and chutney.
Arthur Beare : I can't wait to be an orphan.
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Arthur Beare : Where have you been?
Maggie Beare : I've been to London to visit the Queen.
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Liz Beare : Robert and I have had a discussion.
Arthur Beare : Yes, I heard the shouting.
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Liz Beare : But old age isn't attractive, Arthur. Look, I don't want my children to see their grandmother deteriorate in front of them.
Arthur Beare : Don't you want them to see her anymore?
Liz Beare : They've got photos.