- Maggie Beare: Well, well, well.
- Arthur Beare: It's alright mum. Nothing to worry about.
- Maggie Beare: This is a surprise.
- Arthur Beare: [to Barsha] Just over on the couch will do.
- Maggie Beare: I say, Arthur... Aren't you going to introduce me?
- Arthur Beare: Introduce?
- Maggie Beare: Yes. Come on.
- Arthur Beare: This is my mother.
- Maggie Beare: Yes, I'm his mother. Don't pay any attention to him, he forgets himself sometimes. And you are?
- Taxi Driver Barsha: Barsha.
- Maggie Beare: What is it?
- Taxi Driver Barsha: Barsha.
- Maggie Beare: That can't be right.
- Arthur Beare: It's Barsha, mum. Barsha.
- Maggie Beare: Alright, alright. I'm sure it's a very pretty name, when you say it nicely.
- Maggie Beare: [pointing to a saucepan] What's that doing there?
- Arthur Beare: You put it there.
- Maggie Beare: Oh, yes-yes. That's the Whats-her-name.
- Arthur Beare: Oh, the Whats-her-name, is it?
- Maggie Beare: Well, it's not a proper Whats-her-name. We haven't got a proper Whats-her-name anymore, so you'll have to make do with that, as best you can.
- Arthur Beare: Do what with it?
- Maggie Beare: You know, when nature calls.
- Arthur Beare: Nature already has called.
- Maggie Beare: What did you do?
- Arthur Beare: I went to the bathroom.
- Arthur Beare: I don't think I can stand this much longer.
- Maggie Beare: Is it the pain?
- Arthur Beare: It's you!
- Maggie Beare: No, don't you worry about me. I won't rest until I get you back on your feet.
- Arthur Beare: Well that's easy.
- [stands]
- Maggie Beare: Sit! Sit! Sit! Sit!
- [Arthur sits]
- Maggie Beare: Good boy.
- Arthur Beare: Do I get a bone?
- Maggie Beare: Now, you just be a good boy and let me look after you.
- Arthur Beare: You can't look after me.
- Maggie Beare: Fiddle-dee-dee.
- Arthur Beare: You can't even look after yourself anymore.
- Maggie Beare: Now, come on. Nurse knows best.
- Arthur Beare: You're not a nurse. You haven't been a nurse for forty years.
- Maggie Beare: That doesn't matter, I'm still the mummy.
- Arthur Beare: You're a senile old fool!
- Maggie Beare: This is worse than I thought.
- Arthur Beare: I'm sorry.
- Maggie Beare: You're delirious.
- Arthur Beare: I'm not delirious.
- Maggie Beare: I'll get the sponge.
- Arthur Beare: No, maybe it's about time we face this. Maybe you should see someone.
- Maggie Beare: No, no, no visitors. You're sick.
- Arthur Beare: You need help, mum.
- Maggie Beare: Not just to give you a little sponge bath.
- Arthur Beare: I don't want a sponge bath. All I want is a sandwich, but you're not even able to do that.
- Maggie Beare: Alright, I suppose the sponge bath can wait.
- Arthur Beare: Where are you going?
- Maggie Beare: To get you a sandwich.
- Arthur Beare: You don't have to go out, you can make one here.
- Maggie Beare: No. No bread.
- Arthur Beare: There's plenty of bread in the freezer.
- Maggie Beare: No, I threw it out. Hard as a rock. Now I'll be back in a minute. What sort did you want?
- Arthur Beare: I don't care.
- Maggie Beare: But I care. I want to get this right.
- Arthur Beare: Roast beef, cheese and chutney.
- Maggie Beare: Roast beef, cheese and chutney. Roast beef, cheese and chutney. Righto, I'll be back in a whats-her-name. Roast beef, cheese and chutney.
- Arthur Beare: I can't wait to be an orphan.
- Hospital Worker: No, you're looking for casualty. Now, it's just up there, near the front. And you can't miss it, because there's a big sign.
- Maggie Beare: What does it say?
- Hospital Worker: Casualty.
- Maggie Beare: Casualty. I'll err, just right that down. Now, um, casualty.
- [points to her envelope]
- Maggie Beare: Look, I've already got it, here.
- [reads]
- Maggie Beare: "Confidential".
- Hospital Worker: Good.
- [last lines]
- Claude Price: How's your time?
- Maggie Beare: What?
- Claude Price: Isn't it time you were going? Won't your family be missing you?
- Maggie Beare: Yes, I hope so.
- Liz Beare: But old age isn't attractive, Arthur. Look, I don't want my children to see their grandmother deteriorate in front of them.
- Arthur Beare: Don't you want them to see her anymore?
- Liz Beare: They've got photos.