- Marilyn Munster: Oh dear, I just feel as though it's all my fault.
- Grandpa: Now Marilyn, don't blame yourself. Your uncle Herman is a born loser.
- Lily Munster: Grandpa, you know that Herman is a kind, trusting soul, with a great faith in his fellow human being.
- Grandpa: You know a better way to be a loser?
- Fair Deal Dan: Hey Blinky!
- Blinky: Yeah, boss!
- Fair Deal Dan: That call from Hollywood--Mr. Grant's business manager come through yet?
- Herman Munster: Hollywood? Cary Grant?
- Fair Deal Dan: You said it--I didn't.
- Blinky: Mr. Grant is due in from Europe today, and his manager is sure he wants the car.
- Fair Deal Dan: Sorry.
- Herman Munster: Now wait a minute! This car is on your lot, which means it's for sale, right?
- Fair Deal Dan: Right, but I already promised it to someone else.
- Herman Munster: And if I give you a legitimate offer, you've gotta take it, right?
- Fair Deal Dan: Well...
- Blinky: I'm afraid he's gotcha, boss.
- Herman Munster: Well you see the fact of the matter is, I'm buying this car for my young niece.
- Fair Deal Dan: What a coincidence! This car belonged to a young niece of an old lady in Pasadena! That's right, she only drove it to the 4-H Club meetings once every month.
- Herman Munster: Now Grandpa, I am sure that our house is due... west!
- Grandpa: Well, you've tried north, south and east... this time I'd say the odds are with you.
- Herman Munster: But I tell you Grandpa, this lot was full of used cars this afternoon! And right over there is where they pitched the tent!
- Grandpa: Tent? Well, uh, perhaps the Arabs have, uh, folded their tent, and as the expression goes, taken it on the lam?
- Blinky: Hey boss, would you get a load of that customer that just walked in?
- Fair Deal Dan: Must be a circus in town. He's probably on his lunch break from the freak show.
- Grandpa: Herman, what's the matter? Are you afraid of your own shadow?
- Herman Munster: No I'm not! I've seen it lotsa times. It hardly scares me at all. Any more.
- Lily Munster: Grandpa, isn't it wonderful the way Marilyn's handicap brings out the natural sweetness in people?