The Muppet Show (TV Series)

George Burns (1977)

Richard Hunt: Scooter, Statler, Janice, Pig, Luncheon Counter Monster, Whatnot

Quotes 

• [a telephone is the Veterinarians Hospital patient] 

  Rowlf : What's wrong with it?

  Miss Piggy : It's not working.

  Rowlf : Well, tell it to get a job so it can pay me.

  Janice : Maybe it's a PAY phone.

• Waldorf : How do they do it?

  Statler : How do *we watch* it?

  Waldorf : *Why* do we watch it?

  Statler : [to audience]  Why do *you* watch it?

• Scooter : George Burns. George Burns. Twenty seconds to curtain, Mr. Burns.

  George Burns : I'm ready.

  [noticing Gonzo playing a violin behind him] 

  George Burns : Excuse me, but... But what is *that*?

  The Great Gonzo : [playing violin]  It's my new act. Gonzo fiddles while George Burns.

  George Burns : I like that joke. It's a pleasure to hear something that's older than I am.

• Statler : [reacting to the Luncheon Counter Monster eating a machine]  Disgusting! Ever see eating like that?

  Waldorf : Sure.

  Statler : Where?

  Waldorf : Thanksgiving dinner with my in-laws.

• Statler : Can you sing tenor?

  Waldorf : What?

  Statler : Can you sing tenor, as in ten or eleven miles away from here?

• Statler : Well, there it is. Your basic Latin number.

  Waldorf : Actually, that's your basic Pig Latin number.