The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Jaye P. Morgan (1978)

Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Rowlf, Link Hogthrob, Waldorf, Muppet Newsman, Dr. Teeth, The Swedish Chef, Marvin, Whatnot Dancers, Gloat

Quotes 

• The Newsman : Muppet News Flash! A charter flight carrying the London Symphony Orchestra has been forced to jettison some of the musical instruments.

  [a piano falls out of the sky and lands on him] 

• Link Hogthrob : First Mate Piggy, I need your help.

  Miss Piggy : Yes! A real assignment, yes, yes!

  Link Hogthrob : We are losing altitude...

  [Miss Piggy gasps] 

  Link Hogthrob : ... and we must lighten the weight of the rocket by throwing something overboard.

  Miss Piggy : Oh, and you want me to help you decide what.

  Link Hogthrob : No.

  Miss Piggy : Huh?

  Link Hogthrob : We've already decided what.

  Miss Piggy : What?

  [Link suddenly becomes nervous, unable to speak; Piggy looks at him closely and suddenly becomes enraged] 

  Miss Piggy : ARE YOU *OUT OF YOUR MIND*?

  [quivers with rage] 

  Link Hogthrob : No hard feelings, I hope, Miss Piggy?

  Miss Piggy : [yelling]  NO HARD FEELINGS? WHY YOU...

  [Link suddenly opens a trap door under Piggy, who falls through; he then looks down at it as Piggy suddenly pops up behind him through another trap door] 

  Link Hogthrob : Au revoir, fatso!

  Miss Piggy : [taps Link on the shoulder to get his attention]  Fatso this! HI-YA!

  [karate chops him, knocks him down and then stomps on him] 

• Fozzie Bear : Hey, Kermit wants me to do the next introduction.

  Statler : Oh yeah?

  Waldorf : Well, he's the only one who does!

  Fozzie Bear : Hey, c'mon, guys, no heckling! I mean, I'm not even out here to tell jokes.

  Statler : Have you ever been?

  Fozzie Bear : Heeey, you know that the bear is funny.

  Waldorf : You're right. In fact, I never enjoyed you more than I did last week.

  Fozzie Bear : But I didn't do an act last week.

  Waldorf : I rest my case.

  [they both laugh]