- Fozzie Bear: [from behind the stage] Psst!
- Kermit the Frog: Hey, Fozzie. Is Bob Hope here yet?
- Fozzie Bear: No, I'm just going out to lunch. C... can I get you anything?
- Kermit the Frog: Uh, Bob Hope.
- Fozzie Bear: Sorry. You'll have to settle for salami on rye.
- Kermit the Frog: [singing] The frog has come to have his say. The pig will never get her way. Bib and napkin, knife and fork, is the only way that I'll touch pork.
- Scooter: Hey, Boss? That cannonball agency just called. They're gonna send Bob Hope back.
- Kermit the Frog: Oh, when will he be here?
- Scooter: Soon. They're sending him by canon.
- [above them, a loud whistling noise sounds, they follow it by glancing above them and to their side when something is heard crashing to the floor]
- Bob Hope: [walks on screen] Eat your heart out, Concord!
- The Newsman: Muppet News Flash! Today is the opening day of the fishing season.
- [suddenly, gunshots are heard and a bunch of fish fall on the desk]
- The Newsman: Here's a Muppet News Flash. This is the opening night of the opera season.
- [he gets cut off by the sound of a soprano diva, followed by a gunshot that causes the diva to fall on his desk]