The Muppet Show (TV Series)

Teresa Brewer (1977)

Jim Henson: Kermit the Frog, Link Hogthrob, Waldorf, Dancers

Quotes 

• Statler : [responding to the Muppets performing "Cotton Fields"]  I can remember when cotton was king.

  Waldorf : You can remember when Arthur was king.

• Scooter : Hey Kermit?

  Kermit the Frog : Hm?

  Scooter : Have you decided what you're gonna do about Miss Piggy's big ballet number next week?

  Kermit the Frog : Yes Scooter, I'm afraid we're gonna have to cut it.

  [Piggy, listening in from the first floor, gasps] 

  Scooter : But, but why?

  Kermit the Frog : Well, have you seen Miss Piggy recently? I mean, She's getting a little bulgy. You know, the pork no longer fits in the barrel.

  Scooter : Yeah, her wiggles are beginning to waddle a little.

  Kermit the Frog : [Kermit chuckles]  Yeah, that... that's the way the old pork rolls...

• Kermit the Frog : Welcome to "The Muppet Show" where anything can happen! Unfortunately.

• [after performing a frantic version of "Wild Thing" with his drum set, Animal gets dragged offstage with nets] 

  Waldorf : I wonder where they took him?

  Statler : Well, wherever it is, I'll bet it's more fun than here.

• Statler : [about the Muppet Labs segment]  That was great, fantastic!

  Waldorf : Meh, didn't like it.

  Statler : Oh, what would you know, you old fool?

  Waldorf : Don't call me an old fool, or I'll give you the evil eye!

  Statler : [sarcastically]  Oh, I'm scared! I'm scared!

  [Waldorf stares at him with one eye bulging out, shocking him into submission] 

  Waldorf : [to the viewers]  I warned him!